Friday, June 27, 2014

How the Hatchette-Amazon Insanity Can Get Weirder

Just when you think the propaganda from Hatchette can't get worse, a new meme pops up. Apparently, it's in indie writers' best interests to side with Hatchette in their contract negotiations because Amazon might lower payment rates in the future.

I'll let you read the drama for yourself. There's Laura Miller at Salon who claims Amazon Is Not Your Best Friend: Why Self-Published Authors Should Side with Hatchette. I've never claimed Amazon was my friend, much less my best friend. Dennis Johnson at Melville House piled on with Should Self-Publishers Side with Hatchette? Needless to say, he comes down on the affirmative. And finally Nate Hoffelder at The Digital Reader says I Think It's Time for Indies to Join Publilshers in Their Fight Against Amazon. Nate is the one that surprised me because I didn't think he'd succumbed to ADS.

In every single article, the rationale for indies siding with the BPHs is that Amazon may lower the payment rates on e-books. May. No proof whatsoever.

Well, here's a few things the Hatchette pundits left out:

1) Amazon never lowered the rates in several markets, including Brazil, Japan and India. The only way to get the higher rate was if the indie writer went exclusive with Amazon. Now let's talk about those sneaky little non-compete clauses you like to put in your contracts, BPHs.

2) Where was Hatchette when Amazon lowered the payment rates for audio books produced through ACX? I didn't see you advocating on our behalf.

3) Where was Hatchette during the Kernel Pornocalypse when Amazon and other retailers were taking down books on the mere accusation of violating their TOS? Where was Hatchette when ALL indie books were pulled from Kobo? Yeah, that's right. No where to be found.

And guess what, Hatchette? I know some of your dirty little secrets. I can't tell anyone due to attorney-client confidentiality, but I know them. I already know you'd ass-fuck me in a heartbeat if you have the chance. So don't play innocent with me.

Amazon? Amazon is just one of many retailers where I sell my products. It's not even my biggest one, so I take Hatchette and its toadies with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila and a lime.

So tell me again, Hatchette, why should I chose sides in your battle with Amazon?

P.S. If you prefer the condensed version of the Hatchette-Amazon kerfluffle, Susie at Insatiable Booksluts has a delightful take on the issues.


  1. I've never had tequila. Do you eat the worm? The worm scares me.

    1. LOL The last several bottles of tequila I've purchased have not had worms in them, Whisk.