Here's Something I Think You Will Enjoy

Since I've been flat on my ass for the last four days with a serious infection, I'm playing catch-up with household chores. Because, well, you know, clean underwear is always good. So here's a little riff on James Bond by the incredible actor/comedian Eddie Izzard, all set to Legos.

Sick Day

Well, I only got today's post partially written when I came down with a nasty infection on Saturday. Today consisted of a trip to the doctor and drugs. Now, I'm going to rest, which I hate because I get bored easily.

Y'all play nice, and I hope it's a beautiful day where you are!

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

Amuck! Amuck! Amuck!

Are Sales Patterns Starting to Shift in E-Books?

Some funny things have happened to my sales patterns over the last month. I don't mean funny HA-HA, but funny INTERESTING (at least from a business perspective).

If you've been reading my Status Updates, I've mentioned how my Apple Sales have been gaining on my Amazon US sales. In February, my Apple sales didn't match or edge past Amazon US. No, they were 400% more! European and Australian sales are light-years ahead of other markets Apple services.

As we close on the end of March, my Amazon UK sales are ahead Amazon US for the first time ever. Normally, I'm doing good to sell 4-5 copies TOTAL on Amazon UK in a month.

So what does this mean? Well, not a provable thing since I need a larger, more random sampling to be scientifically accurate. What I think subjectively is that the European e-book market is catching up with American e-book market in a visible way.

It will be interesting how things will shake out over the rest of 2014.

Another E-Book Store Bites the Dust

I wasn't going to post today since I did two posts on Monday, but I found out this afternoon that Diesel eBook Store is closing shop on April 1.

Nope, it's not an April Fool's joke. This comes on the heels of Sony's announcement last month that they are also shutting down.

What I find amusing is that for all the wailing and gnashing of teeth over Amazon, Big Publishing hasn't grabbed onto an established e-book retailer and built it up. Oh, wait, it's because they have no clue.

I hope the employees of the Sony and Diesel e-book stores find new jobs soon. It's no fun being out of work in this economy.

In the meantime, I need to look into distribution through All Romance eBooks and Google Play.

And contact my web mistress about taking the buy links off after she spent all that time getting my website updated. I'll definitely owe her a Starbucks gift card for this!

Showtime, Synergy?

If you read my blog, you know I've been jonesing for Hasbro to give Jem & the Holograms the same big screen treatment they have for Transformers and G.I. JOE. Well, I might be getting my wish.

Director Jon M. Chu is casting for a live-action Jem movie! He did G.I. JOE: Retaliation. (I still haven't forgiven Jon for killing off Duke at the beginning of the movie, but that's not the point of this post.) Currently, he's looking for (1) fan support and (2) auditions.


For additional information, check out jemthemovie.com

So what do y'all think?

[Edit to add: Good Goddess! This post is up for less than a minute and it's already got a couple of pings.]

How Do You Define Success?

Lately, I've had people say things about me hitting  the New York Time Best Seller List. Or signing TV or movie deals. Or in the case of DH, making enough money we can pay cash for a little bungalow in Waimea, Kauai.

But these are other people's definitions of success. They are not necessarily mine. Why? I know how some of this stuff works and they don't.

1) Best Seller Lists

First of all, in cases like the NYT and USAToday, the books that make a bestseller list mean that they sold more copies relative to the millions of books available for sale in a given week.

What a lot of people don't realize is that most bestseller lists are manipulated. For example, the NYT separated adult and kids' books when the Harry Potter dominated the charts ten years ago. They separated hard covers/mass market paperbacks/e-books decades ago for the same reason.

During the erotica boom in 2012, Barnes & Noble weighted their best seller list so erotica books didn't show on their Top 125 unless they were published by a trad publisher.

Also, a bestseller can be bought--if you have six figures to spend and you know which stores the list makers pull their numbers from.

So if there's so much manipulation, is my book making the bestseller truly a success?

2) Movie/TV Deals

The odds of a book being turned into a movie or TV are astronomical. I know several writers who have sold options on their books. (A option is an exclusive license to purchase the right to make a movie and/or TV show based on your story.) Not one of the book authors I personally know has had a movie or TV show filmed yet.

Even bestselling authors don't always have their stories turned into film right away. Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire traveled around Hollywood for two decades before the film starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt was finally made. At one point in that eighteen-year journey, Cher was considered for the role of Lestat.

So the odds of one of my books being adapted is next to nil at this point.

3) Money

I'm not going to deny that having extra spending money is very, very nice. I've had it; I haven't had it. But I have learned it's not the end-all, be-all. Yes, the bungalow in Waimea is our dream. If it happens, great. But I've not going to drive myself insane or work myself to death to achieve it.


Each person needs to define what success is to them. Maybe one of these three things defines success to you. If so, more power to you. I hope you find what your looking for. Just don't let other people decide what your success should be. Trust me; it's a sure way to make yourself miserable.

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

Major plus that they include Hoodwinked!

The Illusion of Control

Wednesday, I spoke of my envy of Kerry Nietz. Later that afternoon, J.A. "Joe" Konrath posted an essay titled "No One Knows."

And the thing is Joe's right, and it was the kick in the pants I needed.

We humans don't control as much of world as we like to think we do. We can't control the weather, like the record snowfall in a lot of the U.S. this year. We can't control where or when a plane crashes if there's a catastrophic failure. We can't control our neighbors's behavior though we may pass lots of laws to try.

When it comes to publishing, indies do have a little more control over certain aspects of the process. We hire our own editors, formatters and cover artists. Or not as the case may be.

But we can't make people read our books.

Sure we can try different marketing and advertising techniques. Free. Exclusive. Blog hops. Spend hours on social media. Give talks to local writer groups.

We can write great blurbs and hire the best artists. And maybe, just maybe, through pleading, cajoling, tricking, and/or nagging, someone might read that first page.

But we can't make him like it. So we are right back to square one.

As Angie pointed out in comments on Wednesday, Jimmy Fallon mentioned Kerry Nietz's Amish Vampires in Space in order to mock it. Guess what? It doesn't matter because there are people out in the big wide world who like that type of story. Now, Kerry's getting some attention. So, in the end, Fallon's mockery backfired big time, and Hollywood is calling Kerry Nietz, wanting the movie option.

This is what Joe means in his essay. This is exactly the Unreproduceable Phenomenon he's talking about. There's no way Kerry or any other writer could have made this type of event happen. We simply don't have that much control over the universe.

So what do we writers do?

Not a damn thing. Go back to your desk, your couch or your comfy chair, and write the best damn story you can. That's really the only thing we can control.

The Green-Eyed Monster Awakens.

Okay, I know I've repeatedly preached that a writer needs to ignore what other writers are doing. And I really do try to practice what I preach. But this book was featured on The Tonight Show.

I'm jealous. I'm soooooo jealous! And I want to read it.