Seriously. Kids driving you crazy? You're a bad mother. See an injustice? You must sympathize with the perpetrator's horrible childhood. Screwed over? You must have deserved it.
A few years ago I wrote a short story where the heroine's mad about her co-worker/boyfriend dumping her and stealing credit for her project in one swoop. At the time, I was in a critique group with a guy and two gals. The guy commented that every woman he knew would blame themselves for the break-up. I looked at the other two women and asked if they've ever been angry over getting dumped.
Maybe it's the difference in the type of women I hang out with compared to this gentleman and the other two ladies. My best friend was pissed as hell when she caught her boyfriend in bed with his ex-girlfriend two days after he'd asked my friend to marry him. And she laid the blame solely where it should have rested--the guy.
On another blog, a different slant on female anger came up. One of the commentators made a good point. (The following is paraphrased.) All humans fear feminine rage because we don't want to tick off the person we rely on for food and shelter.
In other words--I brought you into this world. I can take you out.
Any one else have a theory?