Self-Sabotage

Currently reading - Undead and Unfinished by MaryJanice Davidson

Bob Mayer has been blogging excerpts from his book, Warrior Writer, over at Genreality.

(Sidenote: Bob will be the education speaker November 13th at the West Houston RWA meeting. See the WHRWA website for more info.)

Recently, he wrote an interesting piece on self-sabotage, on how we writers allow our fears to become our greatest enemy to our goals. That's right. It's not the agents who don't get our work, the editors who only give assignments to their friends, or the other writer who got the contract that should have been ours.

99.99% of the time, we are our own worst enemy.

Think of the times you got a request from an editor and didn't send in the manuscript. Think of the times you could have finished that short story and decided to watch American Idol instead. Think of the times you could have dropped the query in the mail or pressed 'Send' and the little voice in the back of your head said, "This sucks. They're just going to laugh at you."

No one said writing was easy (and if they did, they probably aren't writers). What's even harder is taking a flashlight to the deep, dark crevices of your psyche and figuring out what's holding you back.

I'll be perfectly blunt. My problem is fear of success. I had a mother who constantly told me I couldn't outshine other people or they wouldn't like me. I had a guidance counselor who said the problem with me was that I was too smart for my own good after I scored a near perfect score on a state aptitude test. In the farming community where I grew up, I was mocked by my peers for simply wanting to learn something besides the best combination of pig breeds to produce the leanest pork. Getting the old recordings out of my brain is even harder than the writing.

What about the rest of you? Anyone care to admit their greatest fear when it comes to writing?