But if I write about sex, then I'm obviously talking from experience.
I get so damn tired of the double standard. It's not just guys making sleazy comments. Other women do it, too. Then they pretend they couldn't possibly know about X.
I'm sorry, but if you grew up on a farm, you've seen animals mate. And it turned you on, but you're ashamed to admit it. (You know who you are. Get over yourself.)
The lies men foster about women are bad enough. But when we women treasure those stupid myths, we're not only hurting ourselves. I've heard so many men complain that they don't know what women want. And frankly, they have a point.
It's because women don't know what they want. Or if they do, they lie about it. Because a good girl couldn't possibly want a man to do that to her.
It's taken DH and I nearly twenty years together to get to the point where I tell him, very directly, what I want, and he doesn't assume I mean the exact opposite. Lately, that consists of me asking him to make dinner so I can get another hour of writing in.
So what prompted today's rant? First of all, Feminist Mormon Housewives had a thoughtful piece on sexuality and socialization.
Then Alter Ego had another issue with a man on social media. Apparently, some people with Y chromosomes believe Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, etc. are the equivalent of Match.com. AE has had an issue with someone of the male persuasion roughly every two months since she became active on social media.
Don't get me wrong. Most of the men that AE interacts with have been perfect gentlemen, so I'm not trying to paint everyone with the same brush. And several fellow erotica writers have had even more problems with women getting on their high horse, wanting to shut down anyone who so much as whispers the word, SEX.
Even my zombie romantic comedies have some sex in them. But what bothers me is that people will ask if I've had sex in a shower. (Not that it's any of their business.)
Not one person has ever asked me if I've tasted human flesh.
I was going to ask you if you've ever grilled brains in a skillet, but then I thought, maybe that was too personal of a question.
ReplyDeleteSo I just assumed you have.
Saute'ed with onions, salt and white pepper. Or was that liver.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of onions. Mmmmmm good.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've seen that crap too. [sigh] I don't get much of it, maybe because I write m/m? [smirk] But my first openly published (as in, not counting fanfic from back when) BDSM book is coming out in the near future, and I expect some of the crap to start flowing again.
ReplyDeleteWhenever people start smirking and giggling about people who write erotic scenes, I point to the Mystery section of the bookstore. Are all those writers murderers? No? Then STFU. [sigh]
Angie
PS -- good link, too; interesting post and some good comments.
LOL Angela, guys don't want to admit ANY type of admiration regarding other men that can be remotely called sexual so they can't tease you about your books. And yeah, FMH is a great blog with some reasoned commentary, not something you normally find among the red/blue rants.
ReplyDeleteWhisk--Onions go with almost anything. Except maybe gingerbread. *grin*