Monday Movie Mania (A Day Late) - Jupiter Ascending

Tired of the snow and ice and cold, the family went to see Jupiter Ascending on Sunday. It had a decent premise, terrific actors, and an incredible writing/directing team. Yet, we all agreed on the ride home that it fell flat. As DH said, the Wachowskis tried to stuff too much story into a two-hour movie.


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SPOILERS!!


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Jupiter Ascending has beautiful photography and a lush feel, but it does very little to present the true horror of the story--that humans are being harvested similar to the Wachowskis greatest movie, The Matrix. Only this time is worse; they are being harvested by other humans. I don't mind someone rehashing a plot point from a previous work, but they did nothing to make this version interesting or terrible or, well, anything.

Several other plot points made absolutely no sense. There's no real reason for Jupiter to use an alias to sell her eggs, other than to use the tired joke that she was an illegal alien. Except she wasn't an true outer space alien either. And there never was a reason given of why her cousin would sell her out to this questionable clinic either, other than an excuse for other members of the family to smack up him upside the head.

The legal issues concerning who owns Earth could have been handled better. Jupiter ended up with the planet because of a trust. If Jupiter dies, who gets Earth? One of her extra-terrestrial relatives already murdered his mom to get his inheritance, so there's really nothing stopping him from killing Jupiter and inheriting Earth. Jupiter's naivete concerning intergalactic protocols was the only thing that made sense as far as her character goes.

If Caine was part human/part canine, why does he have wings in the end? And if his character is an albino, why is Channing Tatum so deliciously tan?

Also, the reasoning for Caine and Stinger's betrayal of each other could have been filled out a little more. Then there is Stinger's daughter who appears in one scene, but is never seen again. What the hell was her purpose?

The only really interesting character was Capt. Tsing of the Aegis (a sort of quasi-military police force). A little more explaining of the relationship between the royal family and the Aegis would have been nice, but Capt. Tsing seemed to be the only character with a clear purpose--protect Jupiter from other members of the royal family.

This is one of those movies that could have so much more. It makes me sad to give it such a poor rating.

Final decision--2 out of 10 stars