It finally happened to me. It's happened to a lot of other writers I know. It comes from well-meaning family members. And some not-so-well-meaning ones. It comes from strangers and from friends.
In my case, it came my sister-in-law Sandy. And this time, I have no problem naming names.
Her mother, my mother-in-law, fell at home last December. No broken bones, thank Goddess, but any time an elderly person falls, weird shit happens. As a result, MIL has been in an assisted living facility while she recovers.
We had a family meeting with the head nurse and the social worker to go over future care when MIL transferred from the rehab section to an apartment. DH insisted I come because I catch things he doesn't.
The head nurse reviewed MIL's upcoming doctors' appointments outside of their facility. Sandy looks at me and says, "You can handle those since you don't have a job."
I coolly replied, "No, I have a business to run."
Now, mind you, I was the one staying with HER MOTHER in the ER and the following week of hospitalization. And I did a lot of other stuff I won't get into here.
Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm more pissed about, Sandy's dismissal of my time being less important than hers (she's a fucking secretary, by the way) or the general attitude of everyone in the U.S. that anyone in the arts should be trampled on.
No one's resources are more or less important than yours. If you're going to demand something from somebody, don't start off by treating them like shit.
2 hours ago
Wow. Yeah, maybe she can take some time off to take care of her mother. Or maybe she can't -- I don't know, maybe she's had sick kids or something and has used up all her paid time off or whatever -- but in that case she could at least be polite, and maybe pretend to be apologetic, in asking you to shoulder the whole burden of caring for her mother.
ReplyDeleteGood grief.
Angie
You know, Angie, if there was even just one of the problems you mentioned in her life, I would never have written this post.
ReplyDeleteBut both of her kids are in their thirties with good careers and lovely significant others. Her husband is in good health with a good job, and as far as I know, their marriage is in decent shape. She has worked for a Fortune 500 company long enough she has over a month in vacation time.
And that's the kicker. She wants to retire at the end of the year, but wants to take off the entire month of December. Not time off for her mother. Not time off for her father (who was diagnosed with cancer in March). Not even time off for her youngest kid who's getting married in October.
At least the other two sisters-in-law who refuse to help with their parents haven't insulted me to my face.
Okay, well, I hereby give up trying to think of good reasons she might be unable to help with her mom. There never were any good reasons for her speaking to you like such an asshole. Wow, what a piece of work. :/
ReplyDeleteAngie