TGIF!

After the cataract surgery on my left eye on Wednesday, I'm no longer seeing double. Distance vision is awesome. Medium vision (like being on my laptop) is doable. Close vision is bleah at the moment. Doctor G canceled my second followup because he thinks I'm doing awesome.

He also scored brownie points for intelligent discussing Star Trek.

So, I go back at the end of January for an eyesight check-up once the swelling in the left eye goes down. I may need reading glasses. I may not. We'll see. (Pun intended.)

In the meantime, I have enough visual acuity to complete the publishing and Kickstarter tasks I had to put aside back on December 13th. I'll finish writing the Millersburg Magick Mysteries holiday story, but I'll probably save it for next Christmas.

(Anybody besides me get that anticipation hangover after Boxing Day?)

In the meantime, I'm also wrapping presents and shipping those and cards to family and friends. My depth perception (or rather, lack of it) during the two weeks between surgeries made me leery of using tape or scissors around the gifts. Ironically, this was the year I tried very hard to have my gift shopping done well before Christmas. Maybe I should have stuck with gift cards for everyone as I have in previous years. I could have given DH the forms, had him print out labels for me, and made him sign the cards for me.

I guess being late is better than never showing my peeps how much I appreciate them!

A Little Bit of Christmas Magic

To our shock, the San Antonio police called GK this morning. They retrieved his Challenger. Apparently, the dumbass thief had left the expired temp tag on the car, and that's how he got pulled over.

We all thought we'd never see the vehicle again. That it had already been chopped or was in Mexico by Christmas night.

The Neteru answered my prayer, even though a car is not the end all/be all of the universe. But damn, my family needed something to go right this year, and it broke my heart seeing my baby so upset.

Christmas miracles really do exist.

Winter Storms and Cozy Christmases

Bing Crosby didn't sing about a bomb cyclone for Christmas. But between blizzard conditions tonight and one of DH's sisters coming down with COVID, we will be spending a very quiet long Christmas weekend at home.

Heck, I'm even prepared for the possibility of not being able to pick up our Christmas order from Cinnabon in Lima. If the wind is as fierce as predicted for Saturday, ODOT (the Ohio Department of Transportation for those outside of the U.S.) will close I-75 and other north-south roads in our flat-as-a-pancake part of Ohio.

Drifting and white-out conditions are not something to laugh at here. An elderly couple froze to death in our county a few years ago after their car got stuck in a snow drift. The sad part is they were only yards from a house where they could have taken shelter, except they couldn't see the house or its lights in the blowing snow.

Anyway, I have extra flour and yeast to make my own cinnamon rolls if we can't go to Lima Saturday morning. I'm making sure all of our devices are charged. I've got paper books, candles, and lots of blankets if we lose power.

Frankly, I like the idea of just me, DH, and Princess Bella for Christmas. GK will be coming home on leave after the storm system has blown itself into the Atlantic.

Yep, this is the kind of holiday I can deal with.

Ready for 2022 to Be Over!!

I got through my medical appointments, bought new computer glasses, and picked up the last prescriptions of the year. All I needed to do was get my COVID booster next week.

But if you're reading this on Friday morning, I'm back at the eye doctor. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have pink eye, but...

Anyway, whatever is causing the itching, burning, and tearing (not allergies or the drops I have for that would be working) makes it hard to see the computer screen. So I called yesterday afternoon, and thankfully, they had an opening this morning.

Here's to no more shit for the last two weeks of the year! And I can finish my projects without any more craziness!

Books and Pies and Presents! Oh, My!

 

Things have been a little crazy around Chez Harden. DH and his sisters have been attempting to clean out their parents' house for the last several months. That task slowed way down when Sister #2 broke her wrist at the end of August.

So they busted their butts last weekend and plan to do so again this coming weekend. And I'll be hosting our Christmas dinner Saturday night. I'm catering the dinner, and maybe I'll make a pie or two if I have the time on Friday. Which honestly is looking doubtful at the moment.

In the meantime, DH wanted to replace the Christmas tree that drowned in last year's unintentional indoor swimming pool. The new one looks vaguely purple-ish in the photo, but it's a white tree with lights that can be blue (current mode) or white, blinking or not. It looks quite nice without any ornaments. I was surprised he picked something so non-traditional, but then, I want to get a black tree for the library once it's set up. A black tree with white lights to display my collection of of Star Trek ship ornaments.

Unfortunately, with everything else going on, I'm racing around trying to finish my holiday shopping since I have three days left. There was a time I'd have everything done by Thanksgiving, including shipping the out-of-state presents.

Since Invasion!'s release got screwed up, I'm taking the opportunity to review it for typos one last time. Death in Double Mocha is making progress finally. And then this morning, I received a private invitation to submit a short story for a holiday anthology for next year, which the publisher needs by the end of this week.

I have to admit things are never dull in my life.

Coronavirus Pandemic Day 643 - Trying Not to Live in Fear

Known COVID-19 cases in the U.S. - 49,881,563
Known COVID-19 deaths in the U.S. - 796,764

Someone I know was diagnosed over the weekend with COVID-19. They've had their two vaccines and a booster, so right now, we're all keeping our fingers crossed because they're an octogenarian and have some preexisting health issues.

On the other hand, I made a second public appearance at an author event since the pandemic started.

DH and I attended the Writer's Block Author Fair on Saturday at Franklin Park Mall in Toledo. On one hand, it was nice to get out of the house and talk to people. It was also a lesson on how far from "normal" we still are.

The mall was not as packed as it would have been pre-COVID, and I say this as someone who worked holiday retail during some major dips in the economy. For the second to last full weekend of the Christmas shopping season, it was a very light crowd. That's not to say people weren't shopping. But the majority seemed to be focused on getting into the mall, getting what they needed, and getting out.

The number of people wearing masks was roughly fifty percent. There were only two men who avoided those authors who were masked, and they both were wearing their attitude chips on their shoulder. I was rather glad DH came with me because these are the type of idiots who like punching down.

My books got quite a few looks, but I only sold one. Yep, that's right. One. I'm just not a salesperson when it comes to my own products. There's a part of me that still avoids attention for my own accomplishments because I was often punished for it when I was a child. You'd think after five decades I'd learn to toot my own horn.

But I didn't feel so bad in the post-event discussion with other authors. Only the children's book writers were making any traction because most of the adults were focusing on purchases for the kids in their lives.

I don't blame people. Everyone's not spending much for Christmas, DH and I included. We're all waiting to see which way the economy jumps next year.

But in the meantime, I'll continue writing because it's a lot better than staring out the window and fretting about the future.

Learning to Say No

One of the hardest parts of owning my own company is learning to say no. There's always some cool new thing coming down the pike, and there's a part of of me that's worried about missing the next big idea. But at some point, there's simply not enough time and/or energy to do everything I want to do.

 

Of course, the hard part is figuring out which offers to take up and which ones to leave by the wayside. Let's start with my current situation. Darling Husband and I just moved into out new house over the weekend. We haven't totally cleaned out the apartment yet, mainly because my comic collection is a bitch to move, and I trust third parties to touch it even less than my couple of pieces of nice diamond and gold jewelry.

Add to that is the upcoming holidays. Even though there won't be a huge gathering of the family, Genius Kid has three weeks of leave, and he plans to come home for Yule and Christmas, assuming his car is fixed. (That's a story for Friday.) So everything is already chaos at Casa Harden.

I've got my regular publishing schedule, which the December release has to be moved back two weeks because of the aforementioned move. I tried to get everything done on time, but there was too much packing to do at the apartment.

And in the middle of all that, I got an invitation to participate in an anthology for next year. I was going to graciously decline, but as I lay in my recliner, eating pizza while watching the Steelers-Washington game and waiting for the naproxen to kick in, an idea for the anthology sparked in my brain.

Then yesterday, a friend sent a proposition concerning his new venture. As much as I wanted to participate, I hit a wall. My own work was languishing. I still hadn't read and returned a novel someone else asked for comments on back in June.

And dammit, I really needed shower!

I should have said no to some other stuff much earlier than I did. I'm achy and exhausted. And I have to admit I can't do things or stay up all night to complete a project like I could in my twenties.

So, learn from my experience. Decide what's important. You can't do everything. And that's okay.

Your mental health and physical well-being are more important than anything. You can't do anything if you've burned yourself out.

Merry Christmas!

Time to put your feet up and watch the Doctor Who Christmas Specials!

Hope y'all had a great holiday!

Merry Effing Christmas

Or maybe this post should be subtitled, "When People Go Out of Their Way to Make Each Other Miserable During the Holidays."

I erased what I'd originally wrote for today's post. I was angry. I was super tired since I'd been up hours early the last two mornings. And the post sounded pretty ugly.

And nearly twenty hours later, I still feel just as mean and ugly.

Christmas for me has become an extended period of emotional blackmail and manipulation. There's no kindness, no thoughtfulness, no thinking of the needs of others.

This is the first Christmas without DH's mother. And like Thanksgiving, it's become a huge fuckfest of hurt feelings because no one is getting their way. And no one is getting their way because none of them can admit to hurt feelings.

DH's father is already upset and hurt because only one out of five children even bothered to extend him an invitation for Thanksgiving. (You can guess who.)  Originally, Sister #4, her husband and daughter were going out of town for Thanksgiving. Her husband broke his leg the week before Thanksgiving and had to have surgery. She extended a half-assed invitation to FIL the day before Thanksgiving only to rescind it the very next day.

So, December rolls around, and since nothing had been said to DH, he asked his dad if he had plans. No, none of the sisters have said anything to FIL. DH offered to bring dinner over to FIL's place on Christmas Day like we did at Thanksgiving. FIL said no.

Yeah, you can see what's coming.

First of all, FIL refuses to tell any of the daughters how much they hurt him over Thanksgiving. Then, he's waiting on them to tell him what to do about Christmas. And he's pissed off because we live on the second floor of our building, but he can't get up and down the stairs anymore. (For Thanksgiving, I cooked at our place, then took the dinner and dessert to his.)

So, FIL calls Sister #4 and tells her to put something together (no, he didn't ask nicely). Her hubby's in a walking boot by now, but she whines because her house isn't showcase perfect because of (yet, more) remodeling being done.

(Sister #4's hubby makes serious bank compared to the rest of the family. I'm not jealous, really I'm not because he's a sweetheart, but their house is on its third makeover in ten years. She has a real problem with letting money sit in the bank. Actually, DH is kind of the same way. I chalk it up to the fact that FIL was pretty effing frugal when they were growing up, but then, he was raising five kids on one salary. So, all the kids go overboard on extraneous spending in one area or another.)

Anyway, back to the current drama. Sister #4 tries to bully Sister #1 into hosting Christmas. Mind you, Sister #1 hosted last year. And they are the only two in town with homes big enough to handle the extended family. Add on Sister #1's kids and spouses won't be in town (eldest works in the medical profession and is on duty, youngest is spending her first Christmas with brand new MIL who is widowed), so Sister #1 wants to delay the celebration to the following weekend when her kids can be there.

Then both Sister #1 and Sister #4 get into a snit fit about Sister #3's kids coming at all. (One of which was the niece who stayed with us two years ago, and got busted for dealing pot last year.)

Sister #3 can't host because of issues between her family, her second husband, and the pot-dealing daughter.

Sister #2 lives three hours away in another state, and given FIL's anxiety issues, it would be a nightmare for everyone to go there.

(A side note: DH and I offered to buy his parents' house four years ago while they looked for a condo. Sister #4 threw a major hissy fit to the effect that we were taking advantage of the parents. Parents told DH we could still buy it as long as Sister #4 essentially became our landlady. We said no, thanks, okay, my answer was more colorful, which is why we're currently in the apartment. We decided to stay here until Genius Kid graduates before we made our next move. Needless to say, what is now FIL's house, that he still owns but no longer lives in, would be big enough to host Christmas, too.)

By now, FIL is pissed at both Sister #4 for not hosting at all and Sister #1 for not stepping up. Add in that he made a nasty comment to DH that Sister #1 was the oldest and she should step up. When DH relayed that to me, I commented by that standard, I have to host because I'm the oldest in my family. *eyeroll*

So, we're at the point where everyone's doing their own thing on Christmas Day, and Sister #2 is driving to Ohio and taking FIL out to dinner in order to spend some quality time alone with her dad.

And...

Sister #4 got pissed that she wouldn't see Sister #2 and wanted to join #2 and FIL for dinner on Christmas Day. Sister #2 suggested they pick up food and have the dinner at Sister #4's house. Nope, can't do that because house is torn up.

Then, FIL complains nothing is open on Christmas Day (not true) and if Sister #4 is that adamant about being with him and Sister #2, then they were going to Sister #4's house anyway. Oh, and if they're there already, then the rest of the family should be there, too.

I went to the grocery store yesterday (aka Tuesday morning) and bought stuff to make our dinner before most of this went down.

Now, everyone's meeting at Sister #4's house on Christmas Eve.

Except...wait for it...FIL called two hours ago wanting to know if we're coming to his apartment Christmas Day, which was our original fucking plan. I told DH I wasn't going and he could do whatever he wanted.

I'm so, SO tired of manufactured drama. Especially manufactured drama over lack of honesty and communication.

You know what? I've given up on everyone else's bullshit.

I'm watching It's a Wonderful Life like I have for the last ten Christmas Eves with a good stiff drink. I'm having my cinnamon buns and cinnamon coffee for Christmas breakfast. I'm going to see The Last Jedi. I'm making my chicken phyllo and pumpkin pie. I'll watch the Steelers and Texans game on TV. (I'd actually looked into making the trip to Houston to see the game in person, but it was a little out of my price range.) And I'm damn well going to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special INSTEAD OF TAPING IT LIKE I HAVE THE LAST THREE FUCKING CHRISTMASES BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, AND YOU ALL DECIDED TO BE FUCKING MISERABLE ANYWAY.

So there.

And believe or not, but this a way more polite post than the original, so DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE GET ON MY CASE ABOUT MY LACK OF CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

I didn't start this, but I'm damn well going to finish it.

Assuming DH and I find a house before next Christmas, the holiday will be there on the 25th. Dinner will be served at 1:00 PM. And if you don't want to come, that's perfectly fine.

But any other arrangements are totally on you.

[Edit to Add: I'm at the point where I can laugh about this again. Literally five minute after I posted my rant, Sister #4 texted DH to say the family is meeting on Christmas Eve at a restaurant.]

Too Much Pressure on Ourselves

Perfectionism. It's such an insidious little parasite, especially this time of year.

I'm not sure what's worse, watching my sisters-in-law get irate over not having their version of the perfect Christmas or my colleagues fret over not having the perfect book. And to top it off, there was a letter in one of my favorite advice columns this morning from a mother tied in knots and burning out because she thinks she's not providing the perfect childhood for her preschool-aged children.

The perfect Christmas. It's an unobtainable goal. Someone's feelings always get hurt over some trivial matter. Whatever happened to taking turns and sharing and kindness? People should have learned those things in kindergarten.

The best Christmas ever for our household? When we stopped playing our mothers' games of proving who loved who more. Seriously, it was a major battle between my mother and DH's every frickin' year! It included stopwatches timing how many minutes we spent at one parent's house or the other. Instead, we stayed home for our fourth Christmas. I made chicken phyllo and apple pie with cinnamon ice cream. We played DH's new games on his Nintendo 64. We watched movies. It was quiet and peaceful and we had fun for the first time since either of us were elementary students.

This Christmas, the perfectionism has spilled into the indie realm. No, let me amend that. A certain level of perfectionism has always existed, but it seems to have intensified lately. Writers are lamenting that sales are down, but as Kris Rusch pointed out in her blog over the last couple of weeks, indie publishing is finally hitting a level of maturity, instead of its initial gold rush days. Now, we  need to work on sustainability.

However, I see a lot of indies still searching for that perfect genre, perfect plot, or perfect cover that will send them back into the stratosphere. It doesn't exist, and these folks are driving themselves just as crazy as my sisters-in-law drive themselves in their search for a perfect Christmas.

As for your kids, I take the Roseanne approach. If they make it to eighteen alive, then I'm a successful parent. Yeah, I know there's a little more to it than that. But you know what? At a time when my teenage son and I agree on so very little, we can both sit back with our pie and laugh at the sisters-in-law (his aunts) insanity.

Because there's nothing better than cozying up on the couch with our Christmas blankies, a good snack, and It's a Wonderful Life. Now, that's perfection.

Random Thoughts on December 24th

For those of you who don't know, our family is interfaith. One of the things we've tried to instill in GK is respect for other people's beliefs regardless of his own or ours.

Which means at some point, the in-laws will find out that GK has declared himself an atheist. And damn, will that be entertaining!

But my in-laws' heads exploding wasn't the point of this post. While getting last minute groceries yesterday morning, I had a lot of folks wish me "Merry Christmas!" I'm not Christian, but I'm not offended. The greetings were sincerely meant.

But a lot of folks get pissed off if someone says "Happy Holidays!" I don't really understand why some people feel this is a personal attack. Christians aren't the only ones that have a holiday this time of year. There's Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, and more that I've forgotten. (My sincere apologies to those I didn't name.)

I name a specific holiday greeting to a person if I know their religion. For example, I wish my friend Kat "Merry Christmas," and she wishes me "Happy Yule."

But I don't always know a stranger's religion, it isn't obvious (like wearing a yarmulke, a hajib, or a cross), and frankly, their religion isn't my business. So I go with my favorite standby, "Happy Holidays!"

And when I did that to a customer years ago at the last Day Job, he went freakin' ballistic and accused me of being anti-Christian. At the end of his tirade, I asked him how I was supposed to know his religion. He blinked several times before he answered, "This is Christian nation!"

"But not everyone in the U.S. is Christian," I said.

That prompted another tirade. Again, I waited patiently for it to end before I asked, "Should there be a law that everyone in the U.S. wear the symbol for their religion?"

"Yes!"

"And how did that work out for the Jews in Germany seventy years ago?" I asked quietly.

The blood drained from his face, and he marched out of the store.

I never saw him again, and he never filed a complaint with my manager (I half-expected it). I hope I made him think. I hope he now sees those of us who aren't Christian as people and not enemies. I hope he realizes that a sincere non-specific December holiday greeting is just that--a greeting, not an insult.

Since today's the last day of Hanukkah and Christmas Eve, I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Holiday Season!

NSFW Cartoon

This is totally inappropriate. Or is it? After all, Jesus is supposed to kick ass when the dead rise from their graves.

26 Days of Christmas - The Last Wish

Why are you on the internet, dude? Go spend time with your family.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

26 Days of Christmas - New Orleans Holiday

Copyright 2008 by AreteStock 

After DH and I moved to Houston but before GK was born, DH and I spent the weekend before Christmas in New Orleans.

Why I love Christmas in the French Quarter: December is the city's slow time. You can get some great deals on hotels even if the Saints have a home game on Sundays. The pace is slower, the people less stressed, and the Quarter is gorgeous decked out in Christmas lights. As this picture by AreteStock shows, there's a tranquility to the city that it doesn't have the rest of the year.

I'm trying to talk DH into staying in New Orleans for the entire month of December once GK is in college. I've even picked out St. Philip French Quarter Apartments. I'm sure I can get all kinds of inspiration here!

26 Days of Christmas - P!nk Rocks!

I know P!nk's album The Truth About Love came out a year ago, but the music is so damn infectious!

It's hard to believe Alecia Moore has been a fixture on rock/pop scene for nearly fifteen years now. She's gone from unabashed party girl to devoted mom without losing her edge. Funny how the opening act for N'Sync is still going strong while the boy band has long since disbanded.

Why I recommend it? Because I love her brutal lyrics within both her catchy rock licks and her incredible ballads. Despite the ugliness of her early life, you know she's a survivor, and her career has proved that!

Holiday Movies for Girls Who Don't Think Like Other Girls

It's that time of year again. Frankly, I'm tired talking about the business, so continuing Will Graham, aka William Simon's take on non-traditional Christmas movies, here's a few of my favorites:

RED - Yes, Bruce Willis hits the list again, as retired CIA assassin Frank. The man's just trying to live his life and flirt with cute-sounding Sarah, the government clerk who reissues his pension checks when he tears them up just so he can talk to her. But when someone puts Frank on their hit list and takes out his innocent light-up snowman and reindeer on the lawn, I'm with him all the way as kills the bastards who ruined his Christmas decorations and threaten the spunky Sarah.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Still the best Vacation ever! Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid are at the top of their game. Between the insane squirrel, the cat shorting out the Christmas tree lights, and Cousin Eddie's well-meaning kidnap plan, the laughs are non-stop. Trivia note: This was one of Johnny Galecki's (The Big Bang Theory) first roles as the latest Rusty. To bad he couldn't appear in the hilarious Old Navy commericals this year.

Scroodged - A modern day take on Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Bill Murray and the cast gives their own perverse spin on the classic. Carol Kane's sadistic Ghost of Christmas Present will always by my favorite. There's been many a time I want to slap someone acting like an idiot, but I don't know if I could do it with her pixie-ish glee.

Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas - Jack Skellington, the Halloween King, meant well when he accidentally stumbled into Christmas Town. How can anyone resist festive lights, candy canes and presents? But it all goes horribly wrong when Jack believes he and his cohorts can do Christmas better than St. Nick and the elves

What about y'all? Any odd traditional choices you'll be watching tonight or tomorrow?

Songs I Listen to Because . . .

For all my Christian friends, Merry Christmas. . .

Crazy Christian Season

Currently reading - Poison Kisses by Stephanie Draven

Yeah, I know the title isn't very PC.  But what else do you call it when 'Joy to the World' and 'Good Will To Men' go out the effing window this time of year?

The reason I'm in such a pissy mood?

"I'm really sorry I had to put you on hold when you called the store the Saturday before Christmas, but this is Texas, and I'm pretty sure at least three men and possibly two women out of the fifty people in line are carrying guns.  I choose my life over finding your precious little ornament.

"Speaking of ornaments, you're one of our gold freaking card members.  You've known since JULY that we've got the Selket-damned ornaments in the store.  It's not my fault you waited until ten days before Christmas Eve to try to buy them.  And it's also not my fault we sold out of the ornament you really wanted for favorite niece IN OCTOBER!

"No, ma'am, I cannot process a return for an ornament dated 1990.  See, the date's written right here?  Yes, I do understand your mother-in-law just gave it to you yesterday.  I still can't take it back.  Actually, I go by Ms. Bitch."

*sigh*

This is the only time I really hate the Day Job.  On the bright side, I haven't had to call mall security to break up a fist fight between customers this year.

At least, not yet.  There's still eleven shopping days to go.

Best Version of Twelve Days

I finally get back on track with blogging everyday, only to be felled by some weird virus. Heck, if Cthulu produces as much mucus as I have in the last four days, I can understand why he's in a dark mood.

Here's a cool version of The Twelve Days of an Urban Fantasy Heroine's Christmas by the ever-talented Jaye Wells.