Why Experienced Writers Won't Babysit You

A lot of newbie writers ask experienced writers for help, and then get very upset at the response they received. Why? Because the experienced writer does one of two things:

1) Graciously, or sometimes not so graciously, refuses to read what the newbie has written.

2) Doesn't tell the newbie what the newbie wants to hear.

Let's start off by saying I've made this mistake as a newbie, and yes, my fee-fees were hurt. Years later, I understand where the experienced writers were coming from.

First of all, writing full-time is more than a full-time job. A career writer works 60-80 hours a week. So every little e-mail takes time away from either work or their personal life. And it's never one request.

For example, I'm no one famous, and I still get a couple of requests a month. Someone like Neil Gaiman or Nora Roberts gets thousands. There's no way they can possible answer them all, which is why a newbie will get a polite "Sorry" or "Please see Famous Writer's FAQ" from Famous Writer's assistant.

The experienced writer, who falls between barely known and famous, knows the newbie wants to be told they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. (Actually Betty White IS greater than sliced bread, but that's a story for another day.) The newbie may be. But usually they aren't. If the experienced writer gives the newbie advice, s/he knows from bitter experience that they will probably be cussed out. So why put themselves in that position? So they give a polite "No."

Unfortunately, the newbie doesn't understand why they've been told no, so they cuss out the experienced writer anyway. Which is why writers like Harlan Ellison chew a new hole in a newbie's ass if s/he dares to ask  him for help.

If the experienced writer does give any advice, the advice is usually rejected. I've been called several "B" words, the nicest of which was "brutal" when I didn't tell the newbie writer she was perfect.

So I've learned my lesson. If someone wants to talk business and s/he's finished AT LEAST one novel, I'm more likely to reply to a question. Otherwise, the newbie is still learning craft, and I'll steer them toward books/blog/classes that can help them.

I'm not trying to be cruel if I don't answer your question. We all have to learn to walk before we try to run a marathon. And the only way to learn to walk (or write) is to practice.

So hang in there and practice. Even Michael Jordan practiced twelve hours a day after he got his first NBA Championship ring.