Unrealistic Return Expectations of of the Indie Writer - 9 Years Later

Below is an essay I posted on my blog almost nine years to the day. It bears repeating because the same ridiculousness is rising again.

Take a look at the previews of the books from some of the authors bitching about returns. There's more than a couple with some really bad editing and formatting. Fix your damn problems, people, before bitching about returns and bad reviews!

Hell, I got ripped for bad editing before. Did I blame the reviewer? No, I fixed the book he/she/they complained about.

I'd also like to point out my current Kickstarter campaign is running at a less that three percent backer cancellation rate. I'd much rather have a potential backer check out my other books and decide the brand new series isn't their cup of tea rather than give me a crappy review because of their buyer's remorse. I'm sure as hell not going to bitch them out publicly any more than I would bitch out the reader who returned A Question of Balance this year.

In fact, I'd like to say to that reader, "Thank for trying one of my books. I'm sorry it didn't meet your expectations."

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There's a petition circulating right now through Change.org asking Amazon to refuse refunds on e-books that have been read.

I understand the sentiment. No one wants to feel they've been taken advantage of. But there's major problems with this stance:

1) I doubt many of the signers of this petition have owned a retail store of any kind. When my husband and I looked into purchasing a brick-and-mortar store ten years ago, the statistics we received from the Small Business Administration said to expect 5% in returns. (When I find the blasted file in my office, I'll give you the source.)

According the the National Retail Federation ("NRF"), retail returns were expected to hit 8.7 percent during the 2008 Christmas shopping season, the height of the housing financial disaster. They actually hit 8.9 per cent and climbed over subsequent years.

According to Businessweek, retail returns hit a yearly average of 6 percent for 2007. A 2012 article by Businessweek said the yearly average was back down to 5 percent.

What does that mean for us indie authors? Alter Ego's first book, Book A, is my bestselling book to date. It also has the highest number of return. So, let's calculate it

Total books sold through Feb. 2013 = 1558
Total returns through Feb. 2013 = 9
Percentage of returns = 0.57 %

Not even the national average of 5%, but a tenth of that. If I add in my other seventeen books, the percentage drops even lower. That's damn good!

If your return percentage is higher than 5%, you need to take an honest, objective look at your book. Is the cover or blurb misleading? Are you calling it a romance when it doesn't have a "happily ever after" or "happy for now" ending? Is the beginning polished to perfection and the middle or ending need a major overhaul? Your readers may be feeling cheated or misled and want their money back. Not all of them leave nasty 1-star reviews.

2) Changing the policy punishes people who are not cheating the system. Haven't you ever accidentally clicked on something you shouldn't have? Have you ever bought a book where the formatting was so screwed up it was unreadable? The NRF survey for Christmas of 2012 estimates that 4.6% OF THE RETURNS are fraudulant. In other words, only 23 fraudulent returns out of every 10,000 sales.

That means out of all my sales, statistically speaking, less than one of them was a fraudulent return.

Were any of them fraudulent? Yes, I suspect two were because Book A was bought on Day 1 and returned on Day 2 when suspiciously Book B was bought...and then returned on Day 2 when Book C was purchased. So, is punishing these two idiots worth pissing off 1,556 other customers?

In my opinion, no, it's not.

3) Are you absolutely sure the book has been read? The reason I say this is? Sure, Amazon can track where you leave off on your Kindle, but both my mom and mother-in-law jump to the end of the file and READ THE END FIRST. If they don't like how the writer ends the story, they don't read the rest.

Yeah, I've had the argument with Mom thirty years ago that reading the end first ruins the book. I don't dare say a word to the MIL. LOL

4) Contrary to popular belief, Amazon does cut off customers who abuse their return policy.

5) Be very, VERY careful about throwing stones. Norwegian author Anne B. Ragde slammed e-book piracy in a 2010 article in Dagens Naeringsliv, only to have her own teenage son out Anne's music piracy.

Are there always going to be people who steal? Unfortunately, yes.

Will these people buy your books if you prevent them from stealing them? Probably not.

Will Amazon change its return policy? I have no fucking clue.

Will having print-only editions save your books from piracy? Seriously, do I have to explain to you what a scanner does?

I recommend that indie writers take a deep breath, grab their favorite beverage and get back to working on that current wip. I will because I know I have a thousand people waiting on Alter Ego's Book D.

Tripping Over Promo Tricks (Like Marvel Comics)

I've talked about how indie writer like to flog their small handful of books, or their only book, with every trick they can come up with. I've talked about how the writing, THE STORY, needs to come first. I talked about how an indie writer can't sell their single title to the same person over and over.

Recently, Marvel Comics' VP of Sales, David Gabriel made some statements in an interview during the Marvel Retailers Summit:

What we heard was that people didn't want any more diversity. They didn't want female characters out there. That's what we heard, whether we believe that or not.  I don't know that that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales.

We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up against. That was difficult for us because we had a lot of fresh, new, exciting ideas that we were trying to get out and nothing new really worked.

Gabriel has since walked back those comments.

And of course, the internet went nuts. Both PC and Anti-PC proponents shot vicious comments back and forth. Personally, I sat back and laughed.

You see, I've been watching Marvel (and DC too, for that matter) making the same mistakes as a lot of indie writers, many of whom have quit the business over the years, and trad publishing have made.

So basically, Marvel has given us what-not-to-do guidelines:

1) Over-pricing product

Trad publishing has been doing this for years, especially by pricing e-books way higher than print books. Marvel upped Spider-man from $3.99 to $9.99. How the hell do they expect little kids to buy comic books when they are priced that high?

2) Giving the reader fewer pages

Indies are especially guilty of this faux pas, but the comic book companies are catching up. Most readers considered a novel to be a couple of hundred pages, but whatever the actual word-count or page-count they do expect a complete story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. When you slice a story in the middle and expect the reader to pay twice as much for half the story, the readers are going to be pissed.

On the other hand, comic books are expected to be a serial format. However, those episodes are getting shorter (40 years ago the standard number of pages was 24, now it's 10) while the price is going up. That leads back to my first point about readers feeling ripped off.

3) Sales Gimmicks

Hey, I'll be the first to admit gimmicks, like perma-free and 99-cent deals, can goose short term sales, but they're not a long-term substitution for decent writing. The comics industry tanked in the '90's thanks to the proliferation of multiple covers for the same issue and reboots out the wazoo to justify the multiple covers. Those crazy die-cut-, gold-embossed covers by whoever was the hottest artist at the moment.

And gimmicks are still used to the detriment of all on both the indie writer and comic book sides. For indies, the latest thing is buying, selling and trading e-mail lists.

NOTE: If you have signed up for my mailing list, or are planning to, my list stays PRIVATE. I WILL NOT buy, sell, or trade your information.

Why do I keep my mailing list private? Because (1) I already know buying the names of people who don't want to hear from me doesn't work, and (2) when other companies do that to me, it makes me pissed as hell.

For the comic books, the latest gimmick is short-term MAJOR changes to characters. I'm not a big Captain America fangirl, but making him a Hydra agent when fascism is on the rise in the world makes my stomach clench.

But to blame low sales on "no one wants diversity" when it's because of shitty storylines and stupid gimmicks?  No. Just no.

And for the record, I was a collector of X-men comics for thirty years, but I stopped ten years ago because of #3. Even when books were under $3, I couldn't afford all the spin-offs and crossovers to get the complete story. Not with a little kid.

And all of this brings us to...

4) Losing the Base Fans

I hate to point this out, but the Golden Age fans are dead or dying. Even those of us who grew up with the Silver Age heroes and stories are becoming grandparents. Where's the new fan base going to come from?

The movies? Really? When the studios are rehashing the same stories from the '30's and '60's over and over again? Even Genius Kid made a smart remark about how times are the movie producers going to make us watch the Waynes and Uncle Ben die on screen.


In the end, it's not diversity, lack of diversity, or whatever other hot-button issue of the day raises its head. We as writers need to be aware of our responsibility to our readers. Don't take advantage of them and deliver the best stories we can. That's all they really ask of us.

Do You Love Steampunk Like I Love Steampunk?

You guys know I don't pimp books that often, but I've discovered a new author I adore. Ava Morgan writes steampunk and fantasy. She has an incredible steampunk series called the Curiosity Chronicles.

The first in the series, The Lady Machinist is a delightful, romantic-fantasy romp. Think Leia and Han in a 19th century setting, except Han's the diplomat and Leia's the genius mechanic. It's action and adventure and biting wit without everyone being hung up on Victorian manners and propriety. (Really, it's a super, major plus because I've read too many books that sound like history textbooks.) Ava does a fabulous job of relaying her story that make you want to jump to the next book, which is...

The Armored Doctor. It's on sale for $0.99, but even better, Ava is participating in The Indie Steampunk Book Extravaganza 2 over at Facebook. There's contests and prizes, and there's more steampunk authors I'm dying to check out!

Don't worry, regular readers! I'll address the Amazon-Hatchette settlement on Monday. Have a wonderful steampunk reading weekend!

The Bunker and Silo Show

If you didn't catch the livestream on Monday, Hugh Howey and Michael Bunker's video of their show is up on YouTube. They discuss the current state of the publishing industry and mention the growing middle class of indie authors (like me!) that are now able to write full-time thanks to the changes in distribution and the explosion of e-books.

How the Hatchette-Amazon Insanity Can Get Weirder

Just when you think the propaganda from Hatchette can't get worse, a new meme pops up. Apparently, it's in indie writers' best interests to side with Hatchette in their contract negotiations because Amazon might lower payment rates in the future.

I'll let you read the drama for yourself. There's Laura Miller at Salon who claims Amazon Is Not Your Best Friend: Why Self-Published Authors Should Side with Hatchette. I've never claimed Amazon was my friend, much less my best friend. Dennis Johnson at Melville House piled on with Should Self-Publishers Side with Hatchette? Needless to say, he comes down on the affirmative. And finally Nate Hoffelder at The Digital Reader says I Think It's Time for Indies to Join Publilshers in Their Fight Against Amazon. Nate is the one that surprised me because I didn't think he'd succumbed to ADS.

In every single article, the rationale for indies siding with the BPHs is that Amazon may lower the payment rates on e-books. May. No proof whatsoever.

Well, here's a few things the Hatchette pundits left out:

1) Amazon never lowered the rates in several markets, including Brazil, Japan and India. The only way to get the higher rate was if the indie writer went exclusive with Amazon. Now let's talk about those sneaky little non-compete clauses you like to put in your contracts, BPHs.

2) Where was Hatchette when Amazon lowered the payment rates for audio books produced through ACX? I didn't see you advocating on our behalf.

3) Where was Hatchette during the Kernel Pornocalypse when Amazon and other retailers were taking down books on the mere accusation of violating their TOS? Where was Hatchette when ALL indie books were pulled from Kobo? Yeah, that's right. No where to be found.

And guess what, Hatchette? I know some of your dirty little secrets. I can't tell anyone due to attorney-client confidentiality, but I know them. I already know you'd ass-fuck me in a heartbeat if you have the chance. So don't play innocent with me.

Amazon? Amazon is just one of many retailers where I sell my products. It's not even my biggest one, so I take Hatchette and its toadies with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila and a lime.

So tell me again, Hatchette, why should I chose sides in your battle with Amazon?


P.S. If you prefer the condensed version of the Hatchette-Amazon kerfluffle, Susie at Insatiable Booksluts has a delightful take on the issues.

When a Writer Assumes the Role of Gatekeeper for Other Writers

Yes, I'm late posting today, but I wanted to think long and hard about what I wanted to say.

I thought while I bought a Batman outfit at Build-a-Bear for the teddy bear DH gave me for our fifth wedding anniversary. I thought while I decided on my birthday chocolate at Godiva's. I thought while I checked at Yankee Candle to see if they had any Witch's Brew left. (They didn't, but I'm definitely getting Cherries in Snow for Christmas!) I thought while I ate my birthday breakfast of a classic Cinnabon and Starbuck's black ice tea.

I didn't think when I saw a brand-new Ghoulia doll at Toys R' Us. I just squealed in delight, which made the clerk's day. We chatted about the New Hallowthanksmas retail season while it stormed like crazy outside.

But once the rain died and I could safely make it to the car without getting electrocuted or Ghoulia getting soaked, I started thinking again. So what caused all this thinking?

Libby Fischer Hellman is pissed off about EVERYONE self-publishing. Her sales are down! No one can find her books among the tsunami of swill! And everyone else needs to just stop publishing!

After reading her blog one more time before I started to write this post, all I can say is Genius Kid never threw a tantrum like this even in his Terrible Twos.

What's even sadder is that I've never heard of Libby Fischer Hellmann before her post was excerpted over at The Passive Voice (and her post caused a firestorm of comments over there). Is this how she wants to introduce herself to potential readers?

Because that's what other writers are. They are readers, too.

I wouldn't dream of stating on my blog that no other writer can publish because no one's buying my books. That simply DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

Do I think writers should learn their craft before they publish? Hell, yeah. I don't know an indie writer who doesn't believe that. But once a writer is past the initial craft stage, the game changes.

If no one's buying my books, that means I'm not doing a good enough job entertaining my readers. That's no else's fault but my own. It means I need to step up my game, not "everyone needs to be gentle with poor widdle Suzan."

The whole point of indie publishing my books is that they're niche. I know they are niche. The Big 5 don't see how they can make any money on such a small market segment, but I do see how I can. And I have. And I wrote things that tickled me, and obviously tickled a few other people or they wouldn't have bought them. Or read them. Or asked when's the next one coming out.

I don't believe we writers are in competition with each other because readers are varied in their tastes and voracious. We're definitely not in competition with people too lazy to learn their craft or who plagiarize other writers, which, to me, is the real swill.

It's going to take me 120-150 hours of butt-in-chair time to write Zombie Goddess, plus another 40 or so hours of editing time. (That's me personally; that's not counting the editor and beta reader's time.) The average reader will whip through it in 4-5 hours.

What's the reader going to say if I tell her she can't read anybody else's work while I write the next novel? She's going to say, "Fuck you!" and rightly so.

Also, readers are very good about finding what they like. I've been choosing my own books since I was six. I'm pretty damn sure other readers can choose their own material as well.

So I'm going to keep writing and publishing whether Ms.Hellmann likes it or not. And if my zombie tabloid reporter is outselling her female PI, then maybe she needs to step up her game instead of whining.

Stop Saying "I Can't Get into Libraries"

For the longest time in the U.S., the best method for reader discovery of books was the public library system. I'm not going to expound on Benjamin Franklin and his belief in an educated populace. You can find that on Wikipedia.

Unlike bookstores, libraries as a whole are very welcoming to most authors. Their whole purpose of existence is to promote reading. (If you think that is the purpose of a bookstore, I've got a clue you can buy. It'll cost you a piece of green paper with Mr. Franklin on it.)

What astounds me is the unreasonableness of both traditional publisher and indie publishers in regards to libraries. Traditional publishers charge libraries twice as much for hard cover editions with a special plastic slipcover that costs them a few cents. Plus, they expect with normal wear and tear, the library will replace the book every few years, so they count on a library paying hundreds of dollars for the same book.

However, e-books don't wear out. The traditional publishers are absolutely freaking over this fact. Some refuse to sell e-books.to libraries. Some sell with licensing limits. If you're a writer with a traditional publishing company, you may be fucked. Try to talk politely with your editor and give him or her the numbers they need to give to the money people to get your books before more eyeballs.

Then there's indie authors who stomp into a library and demand that they carry the author's books. The behavioral issues with bookstores I mentioned Wednesday apply to libraries as well. In other words, be nice and do your homework.

Some libraries will take paper donations; some won't If enough patrons request a certain book, the library will generally order it. But don't have your family and friends do this. It's just like having them give five-star ratings on Amazon. People will eventually catch on, and they will not be please with you.

Here's a caveat: Not all libraries have the wherewithal to go electronic. You have to remember libraries depend on government funding, donations, and fund raising sales. E-book infrastructure can be very expensive. Screaming at some poor librarian because she doesn't take e-books (yet) will only make you look bad.

Don't throw a hissy fit if a library doesn't carry erotica. Yes, it may be some self-righteous prick censoring your free speech. Or it may be the library's charter or bylaws prohibits certain content.

Which brings me to--know how your library system works! Which means do your research! Yes, I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm amazed how many people have no fucking clue of how their local government operates. If you want to make changes, get involved.Volunteer. Run for the Library Board of Directors.

All I ask is that you don't sit on your hands and whine. Most libraries are public affairs, which means citizens have a say. That doesn't mean bully your neighbors or threaten to to blow up the library because they won't carry your autobiography about your carnal love affair with your Dalmatian.

Want a hint? Just because your own small town library doesn't have electronic lending, that doesn't mean you cannot contact the bigger libraries around the country. Many, such as the Harris County Public Library (Houston, TX), are building their e-book section

If you're an indie writer, you need to think like a businessperson. No one's going to do this for you. Decide if it's worth your time to get your books into libraries. Like I said, it may get you tons of readers in the long run.

Stop Saying "I Can't Get into Bookstores"

WOW! I just realized that this is my 1000th post. I'd realized that milestone I would have done something special. I'll see what I can do next week. Meanwhile,on to my latest rant!

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A couple of issues have been going around the indie-verse along with some myths that are, well, frankly, pissing me off. I went on a rant about author negativity and this is a variation on the original, but over two specific items.

1) Indies Can't Get Bookstores to Carry Their Books

This one's partly true, partly false. It is very,very hard to get into a chain bookstores. A chain's corporate parents freak at the thought of any of their minions not marching in lockstep. I know because I had several lovely young employees pressure their manager into stocking my books as a local author. Unfortunately, this was Barnes & Noble, which meant management has a very bad case of ADS (that's "Amazon Derangement Syndrome" for those unfamiliar with the acronym).

Getting into an independent bookstore can be easier or harder depending on (a) the owner and staff, (b) the indie writer's behavior, and (c) the genre.

(a) Some owners and staff feel it's their duty to save Western civilization. Therefore, any writer not properly vetted by someone with an MFA, instead of the unwashed masses, cannot sully their store. Ignore these people. There's lots of owners and staff who will support any writer. Well, almost any writer.

(b) Do your homework. Find out what they carry. Which distributor they order from. This is much easier if you actually frequent their establishment. Build a rapport with the staff. Most of all, don't walk in with a giant chip on your shoulder, insisting that they bow before you. (And yes, I've seen this happen.) Go in with a plan BASED ON WHAT THEY DO. Not what you want them to do. Know whether your distributor accepts returns on your book. And if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, get thee to Kristine Katherine Rusch's blog pronto! And always, ALWAYS be polite and professional, even if the other person isn't.

(c) There are two independent bookstores in Houston I know of that are very willing to work with writers. Unfortunately, one focuses on romance. While I have romantic elements in most of my books, the ones that are true romance are erotic romance under Alter Ego's name. This, being a child friendly place, does not carry erotica. Which bring me back to the last sentence in (b)--do NOT criticize the owner's policies. He or she knows his/her customers better than you ever will.

On the other hand, there's a mystery/thriller specialty bookshop called Murder by the Book. None of my current series would fit with their stock, but a new series idea I'm doodling with (think a sword and sorcery version of CSI) would be accepted. (Before any readers start yelling at me, I will get Blood Sacrifice out before I start on this project!)

Friday, I'll talk about getting into libraries.

You Can't Fuck Over Your Audience

When it comes to indie writers, there are two major gripes by readers:

1) The story is too short.
2) They are getting ripped off.

Frankly, the readers have valid complaints, but what most writers aren't understanding is that this isn't two different problems. It is the same problem; readers are not getting a COMPLETE story.

Much of the writers' confusion stems from from a couple of misconceptions:

1) Short stories don't sell.
2) Readers love series.

In regards to short stories, a single short is not economical to print. So trad publishers would bundle them into one volume, and then not market the book. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In regards to series, yes, readers go bonkers about them because they enjoy spending time with characters they love. But in a series, each individual tome needs a complete story.

For a story to be complete, it has to have a definitive arc. A beginning, a middle and an end. Stopping in the middle of the story is like stopping in the middle of sex. It's just not satisfying.

Then there's the promise of the genre itself. For example, in erotica, the protagonist's sexual journey changes her. In romance, the heroine and hero find their HEA, or at the very least their HFN. But if an indie writer advertises her story as an erotic romance, she needs to deliver on both promises.

I read a story that was novella length and was advertised as an erotic romance where the heroine was changed by her experience, but she left the hero at the end of the book. The writer received a large number of one-star ratings complaining that the story was too short. The writer believed the readers wanted a novel-length book. What they really wanted was the hero and heroine together at the end.

Our audience is not stupid. As long as you've set up the premise properly and deliver on your promise, they will generally accept your complete story no matter the actual wordcount.

Example 1
Brie's First Day of Submissive Training by Red Phoenix, 47 pages, first book in a nine-book series.

Red's best-selling series is a perfect example of short works combining into a cohesive whole. In the first volume, Brie makes a decision to attend a submissive training school, follows through on that decision, and learns something about herself in the process. This story is perma-free with sexually explicit content, but I strongly suggest downloading it to study Brie's character arc.

Example 2
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin, 720 pages, first book in a seven-book series.

Another best seller at the opposite end of the spectrum--the epic fantasy. Reader complaints about George don't include the "It's too short" wail. While the character arcs for the other POV characters are just as complete, Daenerys Targaryen deserves special mention. Her storyline was sliced out of the main book and put together as a Hugo-award-winning novella, Blood of a Dragon.

Example 3
Se7en, (1995) starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey, directed by David Fincher, written by Andrew Kevin Walker.

I include this because Andrew's story and script is so gut-wrenching, yet makes perfect sense. Pitt, Fincher and Walker battled the studio to keep the original ending, and they did the right thing. When the detectives are chasing a serial killer so perverse that sadism should be renamed to "doe-ism," giving the movie a Mary Sunshine ending would have pissed the audience off more. This is a prime example of a not-so-happy ending completing the story. Spacey's Doe, who has been pulling the strings from the first minute of the film, manipulates Pitt's Detective Mills into committing his final murder.

Example 4
The shortest story ever has been attributed to Ernest Hemingway: "Baby shoes for sale. Never worn."

Is this a complete story? You betcha. The entire arc, beginning-middle-end, is there.

The Final Take
Your story can be any length. One of the great things about e-publishing is that writers don't have to worry about the physical limitations or expenses of print. Your story can be as short or as long as it needs to be. Just make sure your story is COMPLETE, the full story arc without any filler.

And don't insult your audience's intelligence by selling them one incomplete snippet at a time. They will know and they will not be pleased.

The Real Life of an Indie Writer

Yesterday, when I talked about my income, it brought a few of interesting comments, both on- and offsite. But here's the thing--I did NOT include my traditional publishing income.

Why?

Because my advance skews my income average for the year. So far, every Sword and Sorceress anthology released has earned out, but I won't see any additional monies coming in for two years at the earliest.

I also did not include my Apple, etc., numbers for the second quarter because I don't have all of them yet. So basically, you're looking at Amazon and Barnes & Noble only.

Some people found the figure of $392/month for 2013 depressing. I don't. Considering my average earnings per month in 2011, my first year indie publishing was $14/month, I've come a long way.

If you are looking for instant gratification for your efforts, frankly, indie publishing is NOT the way to go. It takes a lot of work and a lot of time. Mind you, the work isn't hard. At least, it's not to me. But like building any other business, you take out what you put in.

Also, if you're looking for a regular paycheck, indie publishing is NOT the way to go. On my best month so far, I made $1200. At the worst, my first three months of indie publishing my income was $0. I didn't get an EFT from Amazon because I didn't meet their $10 threshhold for issuing payment.

Later, when I did get payments, money had to go into savings and stay there, only to be doled out for bills and necessary business expenses. Needless to say, I haven't gone on a hog-wild spending spree and bought a Mazaratti or some other stupid shit like that.

No, real life has its own demands. Thankfully, that best month payment came two weeks before GK needed surgery on an impacted wisdom tooth and to realigned a skewed molar.

If you want to be a successful indie-published writer, you need to be in this for the long haul. There will be ups and downs in the seasonal selling cycle as well as ups and downs over the next several years. As Bob Mayer said, "The gold rush is over."

Hopefully, you're not one of those people looking at indie publishing as the proverbial gold rush. If you have, you may want to rethink things.

There's not guarantees in this business. I hate to tell you this, but there's no guarantees in life either.

The only question you have to answer? Is writing what you want to do with your time?

If so, then you need to put your heart behind it. Readers can tell when you're only going through the motions. You WON'T sell any stories if you're putting up half-assed shit.

There's no guarantee you will sell if you put up the greates novel ever written either. That's the chance you take.

If you can't deal with taking chances though, I strongly suggest finding another line of work.

Unrealistic Return Expectations of the Indie Writer

There's a petition circulating right now through Change.org asking Amazon to refuse refunds on e-books that have been read.

I understand the sentiment. No one wants to feel they've been taken advantage of. But there's major problems with this stance:

1) I doubt many of the signers of this petition have owned a retail store of any kind. When my husband and I looked into purchasing a brick-and-mortar store ten years ago, the statistics we received from the Small Business Administration said to expect 5% in returns. (When I find the blasted file in my office, I'll give you the source.)

According the the National Retail Federation ("NRF"), retail returns were expected to hit 8.7 percent during the 2008 Christmas shopping season, the height of the housing financial disaster. They actually hit 8.9 per cent and climbed over subsequent years.

According to Businessweek, retail returns hit a yearly average of 6 percent for 2007. A 2012 article by Businessweek said the yearly average was back down to 5 percent.

What does that mean for us indie authors? Alter Ego's first book, Book A, is my bestselling book to date. It also has the highest number of return. So, let's calculate it

Total books sold through Feb. 2013 = 1558
Total returns through Feb. 2013 = 9
Percentage of returns = 0.57 %

Not even the national average of 5%, but a tenth of that. If I add in my other seventeen books, the percentage drops even lower. That's damn good!

If your return percentage is higher than 5%, you need to take an honest, objective look at your book. Is the cover or blurb misleading? Are you calling it a romance when it doesn't have a "happily ever after" or "happy for now" ending? Is the beginning polished to perfection and the middle or ending need a major overhaul? Your readers may be feeling cheated or misled and want their money back. Not all of them leave nasty 1-star reviews.

2) Changing the policy punishes people who are not cheating the system. Haven't you ever accidentally clicked on something you shouldn't have? Have you ever bought a book where the formatting was so screwed up it was unreadable? The NRF survey for Christmas of 2012 estimates that 4.6% OF THE RETURNS are fraudulant. In other words, only 23 fraudulent returns out of every 10,000 sales.

That means out of all my sales, statistically speaking, less than one of them was a fraudulent return.

Were any of them fraudulent? Yes, I suspect two were because Book A was bought on Day 1 and returned on Day 2 when suspiciously Book B was bought...and then returned on Day 2 when Book C was purchased. So, is punishing these two idiots worth pissing off 1,556 other customers?

In my opinion, no, it's not.

3) Are you absolutely sure the book has been read? The reason I say this is? Sure, Amazon can track where you leave off on your Kindle, but both my mom and mother-in-law jump to the end of the file and READ THE END FIRST. If they don't like how the writer ends the story, they don't read the rest.

Yeah, I've had the argument with Mom thirty years ago that reading the end first ruins the book. I don't dare say a word to the MIL. LOL

4) Contrary to popular belief, Amazon does cut off customers who abuse their return policy.

5) Be very, VERY careful about throwing stones. Norwegian author Anne B. Ragde slammed e-book piracy in a 2010 article in Dagens Naeringsliv, only to have her own teenage son out Anne's music piracy.

Are there always going to be people who steal? Unfortunately, yes.

Will these people buy your books if you prevent them from stealing them? Probably not.

Will Amazon change its return policy? I have no fucking clue.

Will having print-only editions save your books from piracy? Seriously, do I have to explain to you what a scanner does?

I recommend that indie writers take a deep breath, grab their favorite beverage and get back to working on that current wip. I will because I know I have a thousand people waiting on Alter Ego's Book D.