Real Life Vampires

Is it just me or have a large number of indie writers turned to writing how-to books for writers instead of writing fiction?

Yes, money's down for a lot of writers when it comes to fiction.

First of all, the complaints are coming at a normal time of the year. August-September is filled with parents and grandparents dealing with new schedules, new schools, and new kids' clothes. It's all our readers can do to deal with their own job, homework, and dinner before they collapse on the couch in exhaustion, only to run the same race the next day.

There's not too much you can do about the natural yearly highs and lows of books sales.

Secondly, I know I can't just put out a book and make a ton of dosh anymore, but I expected that with a maturing system. A lot of folks seem to think the gold rush should have kept going forever. Those writers with business experience realized it wasn't going to and made adjustments. Those who haven't? Well, they have seen a sharp decline in sales.

Why? Because there's a surplus of material. Hell, I've got 559 books in Kindle right now. I've read maybe 100 of them so far. That doesn't count the 1,000+ paper books, and the Nook and iBook books I haven't read yet.

Do I think people should stop writing? Nope. That's not my worry.

It's seems like more and more writers are supplementing their income by writing and selling industry-related how-to books. But a lot of these folks don't have the expertise they claim they have.

Or worse, they advocate gray hat or black hat tactics that will lose a new author not only their money, but their retailer accounts and their reputations.

"But, wait!" I hear some of you saying. "You put out a book on business planning a few years ago."

Yes, I did, but it was based on experience as a lawyer writing up business plans, both for personal use and for clients. By the same token, I took the book down when I didn't have enough time to update it properly. So much was changing so fast in the early days of indie publishing. The last thing any new writer needed was outdated information.

And that's probably the difference. I took my ethics seriously as an attorney, and I still do as a writer. I believe we should be making money from our art. Not from speaking engagements. Not from shilling get-rich-quick schemes to people with stars in their eyes.

Does this mean every self-help thing is bullshit? No, but take a hard, HARD look at who's offering it and what their bonafides are. And I don't mean their fucking Amazon rank. That number is irrelevant. It doesn't tell the whole story of someone's income, much less their entire career.

In any time of chaotic change, there are those looking to make a difference and those who want to suck those dreams and dollars from anyone. Take a hard look at what anyone, including me, is offering.

Ask the hard questions. Follow the money path. Who's actually profiting from your time and your money? What are you really getting from the services and/or products offered?

Most of all, remember that when something sounds too good to be true, it usually is too good to be true.

It's okay not to know everything. None of us does. But you and your work are the most important things, and you need to do everything in your power to protect them.

Good luck!

Jealousy Is a Four-Letter Word

My friend Angie, who comments here a bit, sold three short stories last week to three different editors. I'm ecstatic for her. This is her path. She's aggressively pursuing it and succeeding.

Here's the thing--her accomplishments are not a reflection of my lack of progress over the last year. (Let's face it--the last new thing I had published was "Justice" in an anthology that was released back in November of 2013.) I know her success has nothing to do with me. It's a fact of this business, hell, it's a fact of life, that everyone has ups and downs. And sometimes, my downs happen during other people's ups, and vice versa.

If a writer can separate herself, separate her ego, from other writers, she'll have a healthier and happier career. But I'm seeing a lot of people who can't do that.

On Monday, a long-time trad published writer ("Whiny Writer") bemoaned that her sales were lacking because of [insert her variation of the "self-publishing tsunami of swill" meme]. Normally, I'd link to her post, but a bunch of sock puppets popped up on another blog where commenters ruthlessly dissected her post (if you read me regularly, you know where), and I don't have time to deal with her bullshit. Oh, and I'm referring to her as Whiny Writer because none of her sock puppets, who all complained about indie writers' spelling and editing, could spell "whining" correctly.

Seriously. I'd be less critical if the sock puppets had used the British/Aussie spelling--"whinging".

The thing many of these folks like Whiny Writer above don't get is that no one's reading the really bad books. If you doubt me, go look at the rankings of them on the various retail sites. If you're ranked #2,999,999 out of 3,000,000, trust me, no one's bought your book in the last five years.

If you write well and want to sell, you have to do something to stand out. Either a new/neat twist on the subject matter, cover, or price gets people's attention. And frankly, price is fading fast as a gimmick. Free or $0.99 no longer gets a new writer the attention they need for sales traction.

So getting pissed because someone else found their traction is not going to help you find yours. And if successful authors offer to help you "fix" your cover or blurb, then maybe you should listen. In the same blog where Whiny Writer's sock puppets attacked, the long suffering Annoyed Writer made the comment that Whiny Writer was right.

First of all, I'm trying not to giggle because according to Whiny Writer, Annoyed Writer betrayed the trust of writers and readers everywhere by going indie. Secondly, Annoyed Writer is selling her books for a much higher price than Whiny Writer's publisher, and she wonders why she's not seeing any sales. Whenever someone points out Annoyed Writer's cover look like something for a non-fiction Eastern art history book instead of the genre fiction it is, she gets pissy.

As Albert Einstein once said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Covers are one of the first things that catch a reader's attention, whether we or they want to admit it. Which is why Xxxxx and I have had an ongoing discussion over the last couple of months on how to brand our covers for the 888-555-HERO series.

And guess who also has some not-so-good covers? Yep, Whiny Writer. But it's easier to blame indie writers rather than her publisher.

So what am I trying to say out of all of this:

1) Don't get mad about someone else's success.
2) Focus on your own business.
3) If something isn't working for you, change it.

And, the most important tip of all:

4) If your sock puppets complain about someone else's spelling, make sure your sock puppets' spelling is impeccable.

Good Luck!

Three Stupid Things Writers Do or Why Are Writers So Insane?

I admit I was already insane before I began this strange journey I'm on so I'm by no means excluding myself from the group.

Albert Einstein once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Here's a list of the insane things I see indie writers doing. (And yes, I have been guilty of some of these on occasion.)

1) Refusing to Change Our Methods

I see writers write the same story over and over again (just change the names, location and hair/eye color) and wonder why people stop buying their work. Or they don't find the right people who can help them with points where they are weak. Or the use the same marketing techniques as everyone else--and wonder why they don't work.

Sometimes, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. What works for everyone else may not work for you, and vice versa. There isn't a ONE, TRUE WAY to success. Sorry, but there just isn't.

Don't be afraid to experiment, whether it be a new genre, a different price, or a redesigned cover.


2) Marketing to the Wrong People

Several times a day, I get a Twitter or Facebook alert from a new follower or friend advertising their book. Once in a while isn't bad, but fifty times a day every day?

What's even worse are the people who aren't paying attention to who I am. Why are you targeting another writer? Furthermore, why are you pimping your sweet Christian romance to a Wiccan fantasy/erotica author? Talk about mismatch of product!


3) Believing Readers Are Beneath Us

In the cases where a writer has gotten the first two points right, they slip up and rudely dismiss their readers. Readers are the ones paying for your book, i.e. paying your bills. Readers are the ones who tell their friends about your book when they've fallen in love with the hero. Treat those readers with respect. I've seen too many writers lately who think that readers owe them something.

Guess what? Readers don't owe us a damn thing other than a few bucks for our product. And even then, if you don't give them the experience they are paying for, they can and will return your book. Frankly, they have every right to, especially if you treat them like shit. ALWAYS treat your readers with respect.


To me, these three items will carry you farther than learning how to format or catching every little typo.*

* And some idiot will now spread the rumor across the internet that I said you can leave typos in your manuscript. No, that's not what I said. Odds are the idiot spreading the rumor is one of several who got miffed when I didn't follow him/her back within two seconds of them following me on Twitter. That's because my full-time job is writing, not consoling their ego.

How Being a Douche Can Affect Your Sales

I don't know if it's the extreme weather we've been having. Maybe it's the flattening of sales. Or maybe enough chemicals are in our food and water it's messing up our minds. But a lot of writers have been acting like total douches lately.

Newsflash, folks. I read just about anything. From the Cheerios box to the latest best seller to Playboy. (Yes, I know the joke about reading the articles, but there was a time when Playboy had some great journalism.) And when I meet new authors, a lot of times, I will check out their books.

If the book grabs me, I'll recommend it to someone I know. Not just anyone, mind you. I wouldn't give my mother a Jim Butcher novel anymore than I would give DH a Debbie Macomber book.

So what does that have to do with writers acting like douches?

Why on earth would I pick up your book if I see you acting like douche to other writers? Or even worse, readers?

Because that's what I am when I interact with you. A potential reader. Not some ignoramus you feel you can insult. Not your competition. A reader

When I see you treat people like crap, it doesn't make me want to buy your book. And it obviously doesn't make other people want to buy your books either from your Amazon rankings and the way you bitch about low sales.

Here's a couple of examples:

I met L.M. ("Libbie") Ironside on The Passive Voice. She's witty, charming, and offers terrific insight in the conversations on PG's blog. When I learned she writes about Ancient Egypt (one of my favorite time periods for historical fiction), I immediately checked out her books. I bought them. I loved them. I've been recommending them to my friends who are into Egypt and/or great women in history.

Even sweeter, Libbie checked out my website and asked about the urban fantasy I'm working on based on Egyptian mythology. She did everything right by engaging and showing interest in a potential reader.

Then there's another writer, who I will not name, that I met on a website I will not name. This person was an award-winning trad published author before turning to indie publishing. And it's almost like they think indie publishing is beneath them. Or they think other indie writers are beneath them. Sometimes, it seems a little of both. When this person leave comments on this particular website, they are mean, derogatory, and mostly ignored by the other participants.

The sad part is this person also writes in a genre I adore, and I will probably never pick up one of their books because of their sour attitude and their insults.

While Libbie has a couple of hundred reviews and is ranking in the top twenty on Amazon in her genre for most of her books, the other writer has a handful of reviews and is averaging about a sale a day OUT OF OVER 20 BOOKS despite being an accomplished, talented writer.

Word-of-mouth is the greatest promotion tool in your arsenal, but it is a double-edged sword. A retailer I used to work for commissioned a study that showed for every good experience a customer has, they tell 5 people. For every bad experience, the customer tells 14 people.

Am I saying that you cannot disagree with someone? Of course not. If you're a regular reader, you know that my friend Angie (aka M/M romance writer Angela Benedetti) disagrees with me quite regularly and vice versa. But Angie doesn't insult me and she's respectful in her objections over whatever stand I've made that particular day. Because of HOW she argues with me, if I meet someone who reads M/M romance, I suggest Angie's books.

So think twice about your behavior online. Despite what you may believe, it really can affect your bottom line.

Writers Behaving Badly - The Author Guild Smackdown

Get some popcorn and a drink before you read the following links. This is better than WWE match!

Okay, we all know about Amazon acquiring Goodreads. Big whoop, right?

Well, Scott Turow, the president of the Author's Guild, wrote a screed last Friday that made the Unibomber look positively sane. But that's not the good part.

The entertainment comes in the comments on that post and the follow-up commentary over at The Passive Voice.

Highlights:

- Rather than address the merits of the situation, YA author Ellen Hopkins called Bob Mayer a "scorned author" who has not reached the "stature of [Scott Turow]" and told him to "shut [his] mouth."

And Bob, an ex-Green Beret, could kill both Hopkins and Turow with his little finger. It doesn't mean he will. Kind of like Amazon taking over the world.

- An anonymous commenter calling himself (herself?) "Clamps" accused self-published authors of "spamming their way to the top."

Isn't this one getting old? It's right up there with J.A. Konrath buying a million of his own books in order to hit the Amazon Top 100.

- Ellen Hopkins claims Amazon reviews are more skewed than Goodreads. Passive Guy jumps in with "Just like the New York Times reviews."

Seriously, Ellen? Do you not understand how you got those glowing literati reviews?


What does this all come down to?

Not a Selket-damned thing, folks. This internal fighting is stupid. It's ridiculous. It's why I've withdrawn from the writers' organizations I used to belong to.

Nothing really matters except getting our words down and getting our stories in front of readers. How you do it is up to you.

[Edit to add: Since I wrote this post, comments on the Author's Guild blog post have been closed. Gee, I wonder why. *rolls eyes*]

It's a Joke!

There are times in your life when you're going to put your foot in your mouth. It's inevitable. And I'm hardly innocent in this matter. (I used the word "crippled" to describe a character with quadriplegia. A reader called me on my offensive behavior.)

But it's how you handle the dumbassery when you're called on it that really matters.

You start by apologizing. Not excusing, not back-handed apologizing. A simple apology. Maybe with a promise not to do it again.

WRONG: I'm sorry you were offended.

RIGHT: I'm sorry.

The worst one though is "I was just joking."

Yesterday, I read another blog post that was so sexist that it made me literally nauseous. I protested in comments. The response I got from both the writer and the blog host, both women by the way? The writer was just joking, that she was being ironic. In fact, the blog host went as far as comparing the post to Stephen Colbert.

Um, no. Pointing out hypocritical absurdities in our culture isn't the same as saying Ellen Ripley (starship officer trying not to be used by an alien as a baby incubator) and Annie Wilkes (psycho who delights in cutting off the limbs of her favorite author) are the same type of woman.

In fact, it's all too close to someone making a racist/homophobic/religiously offensive joke, then looking at the offended person with a blank expression. "B-but I can't be a bigot. I have friends who are black/gay/Muslim."

As one of my favorite authors would say, once you've put your writing out in the world, it's up to the reader to interpret your meaning.

If you did your job correctly as a writer, the image in the reader's head will be very close to the image in your head.

If you failed miserably as a writer, well, you're going to get called on it.

A Sage Perspective on Writers Behaving Badly

After my own little rant on Wednesday, I noticed a severe uptick in pageviews. It's like a car accident in a small town. Everyone's rubber-necking to see who it is so they have something to gossip about when they reach the beauty parlor. (I grew up in a small town. I know it's true.)

And ironically, I was catching up on my blog reading when I stumbled upon this gem by MaryJanice Davidson, detailing hers and friends' involvement in internet brouhahas.

My spiritual mother is right. No good comes from a writer responding or acknowledging other people's stupidity opinions.

I admitted my fee-fees were hurt. Now it's time to let it go.

Just one problem--I'm a classic Scorpio with a damn near eidetic memory.

In other words, I'm fucked.

Betrayal and Loyalty

Sometimes, something happens that hits you in the gut. When it happens twice, you sit back and say WTF?

Earlier this month in a post about Amazon removing its tagging system, I talked a little bit about people, who I knew, maliciously tagging Alter Ego's books. I found out about it in the middle of January, roughly two weeks before the tagging system disappeared.

I admit it hurt. The people I recognized were fellow writers. Either these people had discovered that Alter Ego was me and did the malicious tagging on purpose, or these people didn't care they were affecting the sales of a total stranger. Either way, it made me question these people's integrity. It made me question my friendship with them.

In a way, I was glad that I hadn't made a screen shot of the tagging. That I could put the whole thing behind me and resume writing.

Then this week, more weird shit happened. Someone went through Amazon, downloaded Alter Ego's books, and returned them. It wasn't all at once. The buys were spaced about an hour apart, long enough to read one of the novellas and return it before downloading the next one. People forget that Amazon shows us indies real-time stats.

It made me wonder who was doing it and why. It made me wonder if one of these same people were trying to fuck with my sales again. Or was this someone new thinking they were going to mess with some smut bitch?

What I don't think the culprit realized is that Alter Ego has fans. Loyal fans. And other writers friends. When Alter Ego mentioned both incidents online, these fabulous, lovely people went to work. Tweeting her. FBing her. Promoting the hell out of her work and dissing the idiots who pulled such evil stunts.

Despite the crap of the last six weeks, Alter Ego's sales are doing good. Damn good, thanks to the loyal fans and friends.

These are people I would bend over backward to help. These are people who deserve my loyalty in return. These are people who have renewed my faith in the human race for a little while longer.

Amazon Tagging Is Going Bye-Bye

It never fails. As soon as someone tries to abuse the system, Amazon reacts.

In the same spirit of the uproar of removing reviews, the Kindle Boards are aflame over Amazon removing the tagging system. Among the accusations is that Amazon is trying to get rid of indie authors. That indie authors make Amazon less money, therefore they are being hidden. Basically, the usual paranoid BS (one of the reasons I don't go on the boards much, and I sure as hell don't post).

One person at least tried to find out what was going on. When Amy E. Barker asked Amazon, here's the reply she received:

I'm sorry for the concern caused by not being able to edit or add any new Tags. The original idea of Tags was to allow customers to tag items they were considering buying (for example, tagging items for a specific person as a gift), tagging products that they have purchased for later recommendations and tagging products to suggest better organization of them for Amazon. Over time Amazon has introduced new features that have replaced the TAGS functionality, including Wish Lists, Customer Reviews and Recommendations. Since the introduction of those features the usage of Tags, and therefore their value to our customers, has declined. We have removed TAGS in favor of the replacement features. Tags that you created are still available under Your Profile page.

What I think it really comes down to is that once again, just like reviews, there are writers AND readers abusing the system. Some books had been marked with some ugly labels that had nothing to do with the book itself: 'fag', 'n*****', 'Nazi', etc.

Sometimes, writers would tag someone else's book with their name in order to make the rival's book disappear or to grab onto the coattails of a super successful author.

I've seen the second issue happen. I was the victim of issue one.

One of Alter Ego's books was tagged by Author X under her name. Eighty-eight of her friends also tagged it, which meant if anyone clicked on the tag 'Alter Ego', that particular book would not appear. What these people didn't realize is that ANYONE could see who tagged which books.

You see, only five people KNOW that 'Suzan Harden' and Alter Ego are the same person. (Okay, I'm pretty sure a private investigator friend has deduced the truth, but he's wise enough not to say a damn word.) So when I checked who'd done the malicious tagging, I was shocked to discover several people that I know had participated. Unfortunately, I strongly suspect account hacking was not the case with these people. I also suspect they didn't view this action as harming someone they knew.

I would give more details, but since GK is underage, I plan to keep Alter Ego under wraps for five more years.

This incident saddened and disappointed me because I held these people in high regard. I was also confused by their actions because several mutual friends had been victim of these kind of attacks on Amazon lately and on e-mail loops, these same people agreed our friends had been abused. So why do this to someone else?

What most writers can't seem to get through their heads is that readers can go through books faster than we can write them. We are not rivals. Just because Mrs. Smith bought my book today, it doesn't mean she won't buy your book tomorrow or next month.

So something that had been a useful feature is gone thanks to some boneheads. I don't blame Amazon. I blame the readers and writers for not acting like adults.

Writers Behaving Badly

I had an experience on Monday night that was in turns wonderful, bizarre and highly disappointing.

Edwards Theater held a free screening of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, based on the YA novel by Hollywood writer Stephen Chbosky. (If you're a Jericho freak like me, this is your man.) It was followed by a Q&A by Mr. Chbosky himself and a book signing.

First of all, if you have a younger teen or a mature preteen, take them to see the movie when it hits general release on Friday. It was a marvelous adaptation, mainly because Mr. Chbosky wrote the screenplay and directed the film. Logan Lerman, Emma Watson and Ezra Miller captured Charlie, Sam and Patrick perfectly. They had me bawling at the end of the movie where I just felt tired with a smidgeon of hope at the end of the book. I'll give a better review of the movie itself on next week's Monday Movie Mania.

The wonderful part of the evening (besides the movie iteself) was meeting some interesting people, especially C. a junior and budding journalist from a local high school, who stood next to me in line. She and three of her friends sat on my right during the screening.

The bizarre part started with the five folks on my left. Apparently, whoever was in charge of PR for the event had sent out invitations to a few other local writer organizations besides NWHRWA as well as several high schools. But in all of the PR company's communications with me they stressed it was a first-come-first-served situation.

The original four folks on my left loudly proclaimed they were from the Houston Writers Guild, then proceeded to complain that they had reserved sixteen seats, and how badly organized the event was. They made a point of claiming the seat next to me for one of their friends still waiting in line. Then they compained about all the kids the organizers were letting in. All four people were probably in their late fifties to early seventies. Meanwhile, two of C.'s friends (who were at best seventeen) on the other side of me were quietly trying to get their calculus homework done.

The PR company did give priority seating to the group from the High School for Performing Arts. Which prompted another loud burst of outrage from the Guild people. The one woman in the group marched out of the theater, supposedly in search of the manager to complain.

Mind you, this is all happening a half-hour before the movie's actually start time.

The woman from the Guild marched back mumbling something that I tried very hard NOT to hear. A few minutes later, one of the organizers from the PR company came into the theater to check available seats. When she asked about the seat next to me, one of the men said their companion had gone to the bathroom. The organizer turned to the one woman in the group and said, "You told me your friend was still in line."

You could have heard crickets chirping. The four of them glared at the poor organizer who was just trying to do her job. A few minutes later, a male friend of the four people took the empty seat. The guy preceded to kick me in the calf and whack me with his elbow through most of the movie. It wasn't quite as bad as his friend who decided to read the screen credits in a very loud voice at the start of the film.

As I said, bizarre.

But somehow, I managed to focus on the film, and I'll repeat it again--WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL MOVIE!!

The highly disappointing part was during the Q&A when the members of the guild were just plain rude. They interrupted the kids trying to ask questions. More than once. They interrupted Mr. Chbosky while he tried to answer questions. More than once. Not even the warning looks from the FOX-TV reporter moderating the event stopped their behavior.

These are writers. And yes, I did check the Houston Writers Guild website when I got home. Photographs of three of the five people are shown on the website as members. Why, oh why, would they act so rudely at an event that was clearly geared toward the movie's (and the book's) target audience of teenagers? From the info on the website, none of the three people I recognized were YA authors. And why, oh why would that act this way at a fellow writer's event?

On the other hand, Mr. Chbosky is my new model for graciousness under fire. He was pleasant and courteous even when these other writers weren't.

I know I babbled while talking to Mr. Chbosky, but hey, it's not the first time I've acted like a total idiot in front of a writer I admire. But he was sweet and kind, though obviously very tired, and he signed a copy of his book for G.K. As I said, he's on my role model list.

And to C. (though I know you'll probably never see this), it was an honor meeting you and your friends, and I wish you the best on your own writng path. I know you don't realize this, but you've given me hope for the future.