Refilling the Creative Well

Creation needs to be fun. But when one type of creation is no longer fun, then the creator may need to take a break, or they need to return to fun things they used to do.

It used to be I would crochet afghans on Sundays while watching football. However, hot flashes have made that rather impractical. Who wants to curl up in a blanket soaked in my sweat?

Now that we have a couple of spare bedrooms, I'm turning the small bedroom into my doll design studio. I had to give up my hobby when Genius Kid was a toddler. I didn't have time, not with an active kid and practicing law full time.

After my experience this summer, I knew I needed to get back to doing something besides writing. So I collected some used Barbies, bought some acrylic paints, and found my boxes full of fabric. One of the sister-in-law's was getting rid of her sewing machine after inheriting her mom's beautiful antique one, and I offered to take it.

I'm documenting the process for for two friends. One is a painter who is curious about the process of re-painting a doll. Another is fascinated by the process. My ultimate goal is to create outfits and hair based on my characters, but I'm way out of practice after twenty years.

So I picked out three dolls that have slight flaws that can be hidden by clothing or paint. I found a lovely bridal dress pattern on Etsy, but I plan to modify it slightly to create ball gowns. And I have some awesome Halloween-themed fabrics. So I decided to redesign the three dolls into a Halloween Ball theme.

Here we are at the beginning. I'm still working on clearing boxes from the bedroom. The room will get a thoroughly cleaning and organizing once I've finished writing Death in Double Mocha.

Since I plan to re-root and re-paint the dolls, the first thing I needed to do was to carefully remove the heads. Why did I this? Regardless of the method I use to re-root the dolls' locks, I need access to the interior for knotting or glue.

The next steps include washing the exterior of the bodies to remove dirt and hopefully a few stains. I'll cut off the dolls' hair and clean out roots from the interior of the head. Finally, I'll remove the current facepaint.

Last Friday night, I sketched out the first dress. All the prep work will take the rest of the September and most of October.

Don't worry, folks. I'm not changing WWW into a doll blog. This is just a lesson I forgot and nearly paid the price for it. You need additional outlets beside writing. Otherwise, you could burn yourself out like I almost did.

Refilling the Well

A couple of weeks ago, I was writing Hero Ad Litem, and something broke inside of me. I love the characters of this series. I have a lot of fun writing them. And all of the sudden it wasn't fun.

It wasn't just the 888-555-HERO series. I switch between projects, and I was having the same problem with Soccer Moms of the Apocalypse. When I fiddled around with the Willowbrook Witches short story that was supposed to be April's free short story, I got really worried and took a step back from everything.

I talked over the issues with some friends. As one of them pointed out, I'd had a ton of life rolls this year alone. Never mind the pandemic and the ongoing coup of the U.S. government. Or everything else that's been happening in our family since 2013.

When I took a second step back, I realized it wasn't just the 2022 life rolls. I made a major writing mistake. I wasn't refilling my well.

For those of you who aren't professional storytellers, we need to be consumers as well as producers. We need to be reading new (to us) books, watching new (to us) movies and TV, and listening to new (to us) music. Not for imitation, but to produce something new with all the bits we take in. Think of it as making a smoothie. You throw in a bunch of different ingredients and make something new when you turn on the blender.

Because of the massive suck of the last couple of years, I've been consuming old favorites. Re-reading Kathryn Kurtz's Deryni series. Re-watching favorite sitcoms like Friends, Dharma & Greg, and The Big Bang Theory. Re-watching favorite movies like The Mummy, GalaxyQuest, and The Wedding Singer. For music, it's been '90's rock and metal.

Absolutely, none of this is new to me. I took comfort in old favorites to keep the fucking depression from coming back like it did in the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I took a harder look at my consumption for 2022. I've read one and a half new books. TOTAL over the last six months. I normally read a couple of books a week. The only new series I've watch was Ghosts. The only new movies I've seen were The King's Man and Free Guy. That's pretty fucking sad for someone who has several hundred unread book on her tablet and has subscribed to nearly every major streaming service.

Also, I haven't been traveling because of the stupid pandemic either. I was just getting started again after my cancer surgery. I went to DH on a road trip to Denver, and I flew to Las Vegas for a writing workshop. And then BOOM!

Sure, I made a handful of road trips for family-related reasons during the pandemic, but it's not quite the same when you're constantly worried about exposing yourself and subsequently, vulnerable family members to the virus. But these trips weren't for our entertainment.

So, DH and I went to a movie in a theater last weekend. We are going to do some ghost-hunting next month, and I contacted an old friend about getting together.

Hopefully, this all helps my muse to refill my well. And I find writing fun again.

Burnout

I find myself needing to take my own damn advice. I need a break from writing before I totally burn myself out.

For the last year, I've been publishing something new every single month. On the months I published something I'd previously written under my name, I still released something new under Alter Ego.

And I was doing this in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. Despite all the insanity of COVID, DH and I found the perfect house. GK met his first love. A lot of good things still happened, right?

Except it's all stressful. Good stress. But still stress. Which means it causes a cascade of physical problems and exhaustion. Sheer exhaustion. Exhaustion couple with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) means despite sleeping 12-13 hours, I wake up still exhausted.

In fact, I'm so tired writing is starting to become a chore instead of a joy. And that's a major symptom of burnout.

Burnout can lead to a particularly insidious form of writer's block. One where you have plenty of ideas. You just don't want to execute them.

That doesn't mean I won't be writing. I'll finish the next Justice and 888-555-HERO novels. I'm putting together a couple of short story collections of things already written. But then I need to take a month or two off before I totally lose my mojo.

I guess what I want to tell other writers is not to keep running faster and faster on the hamster wheel of doom to the point where you lose all the joy in your art. Because yes, it is art. For me, it is an act of creation that's just as important as cooking or painting or raising children.

That stupid hamster wheel is not worth losing the things that make life wonderful. Know when to take a break.

Listening to Your Subconscious

Yesterday, I mentioned having my Subconscious yelling at me when I was doing something wrong. Here's a concrete example of why I believe we writers should listen to our inner voices.

Did you know the original main characters for my first urban fantasy novel were supposed to be Duncan and Phillippa?

Yep, that's right. Duncan had a bit more of a sense of humor back in the early '00's, and he was Greek, not English. Phil was a vampire, not an Amazon demigoddess. She contemplated a restraining order against him for stalking when he walked into her nightclub, but she knew someone showing up every fifty years or so wouldn't fly with a mortal judge. Alex was Duncan's best buddy, and he was a former Texas Ranger from the beginning. But he was the one Duncan rescued from rogues who'd bit him.

I loved the concept. I loved the characters. Except no matter how I tried, the freakin' story just wouldn't gel.  So I gave myself a break and started toying with a sequel for Alex. A reporter named Samantha learns about him, but for some strange reason he couldn't erase her memory. Neither could Duncan or Phil when Alex told them about her.

That story wouldn't come together either. I was the proverbial frustrated newbie writer. Until Subconscious yanked my attention to her solution through a dream.

The scene in Zombie Love where Duncan and Sam are chased to Phil's antique store? And Sam stabs Sierra Mallory in the chest with a wooden spoon? But Sierra's not dead, and she opens her eyes, Sam literally climbs up Duncan's body trying to get away?

Yeah, I literally woke myself up laughing at that scene/dream.

And once I set Duncan up with Sam and Alex with Phil, the words started to flow like melted chocolate.

By the time everything's said and done next year, I'll have written nine full-length novels, two short novels, and two short stories in the Bloodlines series.

Because I got out of my own way and listened to my Subconscious. She can be a pretty smart bitch when it comes to storytelling. I suggest listening to your Subconscious once in a while, too.

Writers Block, Or Are You Lying to Yourself?

I'm neck-deep in getting the final proof-reading pass of Ravaged done and writing A Modicum of Truth. I strongly suggest you go read Bob Mayer's blog on writers' block.

Ninety-nine percent of the time that I get stuck, Subconscious is screaming at me that I'm fucking up. That's why I have more than one writing project going at a time. If I get stuck on the primary book, I switch to whatever I plan to finish next and start working on it. Within a page or two on the secondary project, Subconscious provides an answer to the primary project.

As for the other one percent, I'm being a lazy ass and would rather watch reruns of Supernatural and The Big Bang Theory.

Or Deadpool.

Again.

The point being, you're better off being honest with yourself. That's why my brand-spanking-new Wonder Woman Blu-Ray is still in its plastic until I finish proofing Ravaged and hit the 30K-mark on A Modicum of Truth.

In other words, I'll be watching it later tonight. LOL

How Can You Have a Lack of Ideas?

I've had a vague sci-fi idea in the back of my mind for some time now. So I asked my friend Jo, who designs both computer games and board games as well as writes superhero novels, for some recommendations on books for game theory. And he gave me a ton of reference links and material.

That led to him asking about the idea, which I really couldn't explain because I'm not sure at this point. And who knows? It might fizzle before it becomes fully formed. But if it does congeal, I'll add it to my idea folder.

But this is how my brain works. I'm wrapping up the Bloodlines series. I've started the Justice series. The first book of the 1-888-555-HERO series is almost done. I'm two-thirds of the way into another book that will become another series. Then there's the Four Soccer Moms of the Apocalypse which I was writing while sitting in the student pick-up line last year (which won't be happening this year now that GK is driving himself to high school).

And that all led to our conversation of how can a writer NOT have ideas. I mean, the list above will keep me busy for at least two years. That doesn't even begin to count my ideas under Alter Ego. Nor doesn't it count the ideas sitting in my idea folders. And what about the sci-fi ideas I already have outlined that I may publish under a different name for marketing reasons?

Jo's pretty much in the same boat. In fact, most writers I know have a mega-ton list of ideas sitting in a paper file, a computer file, or both.

So what's happening when someone says they're blocked and can't come up with ideas?

Generally, it goes back to the single biggest stopper of a writing career--FEAR! Fear of not having the big idea. Fear of readers hating the story after you've put so much work into it. Fear of wasting time and not making any money.

If it's not fear, maybe you have to face the fact you're a one-book-idea person. If you don't believe that's the case, then guess what? We're back to the FEAR issue.

Yep, FEAR is that freaking insidious. And you have to find a way to drive back the forces of darkness.

"How?" you ask. All I can tell you is what works for me. Take a break. Take a shower. Take a walk. But my number one cure for coming up with an idea?

Clean my teenage son's toilet. Trust me. You'll want to do just about anything besides that!

When the Clouds Pass

The day I posted the February status report about my recent frustrations, Kris Rusch wrote a very similar post about writing or not writing through bad times. After reading it and several of the comments, it was heartening to know I'm not the only writer that feels this way.

Add to that the fact that we've had two full days of sunshine, and I'm starting to feel like myself again.

All of which helps me to obey Batman's orders.

Now if only Sam doesn't lose the earrings she borrowed from Tiffany during the climatic battle against a dino demon...

It's Not Writer's Block, DAMMIT!

I admit I've had a rough time writing lately. The last four months were fairly productive despite the setbacks from me not being clear with my formatter about what I needed for Zombie Goddess. But something changed after Christmas.

We're two weeks into the new year, and I haven't hit six-thousand-word mark yet. Usually, I'm suffering from seasonal affective disorder this time of the year, which in my case is due to the drop in Vitamin D. But none of my usual tricks for upping Vitamin D or writing words have been working.

Another factor has been the flu GK came down with the day school restarted. It was bad enough our family doctor put him on some heavy-duty drugs to prevent the fluid in his lungs from turning into pneumonia. And guess who started showing the initial symptoms of that same damn flu Saturday night?

It doesn't mean everything's hopeless and I'll never write again. (Which, let's face it, is what some writers starting whining in these situations.) Instead, I tried something new. I bought some scented felt-tip markers off the clearance rack Friday night, and I got out one of my Wonder Woman coloring books I bought this fall. Saturday, I spent the Falcons-Seahawks and part of the Texans-Patriots game coloring a picture of WW and Harley Quinn. Sunday, I divided my time between reading, watching Die Hard and Rush Hour, and cheering (quietly) for the Steelers. After the game, I wrote a couple of sentences, just because one of my goals this year is to keep my zero-word days to less than once a month.

Hey, any progress is still progress!

So what about today?

As you're reading this, I should be sitting in Tim Horton's trying to hit four-figures on my daily wordcount if I'm feeling better. If I do have GK's germs (he had three days of headaches before the puking and deep-seated chest congestion started), I'll break my writing into short sessions between episodes of Supernatural and green tea.

It's part of being a professional writer, folks. You have to keep going forward.

Lambs Vs. Sheep

Currently reading - Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris

I've been going to a local cafe' to write in the mornings. At least on mornings that don't involve doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, haircuts, etc.

When I got home for lunch, per usual, DH asked me how I did.

Me: I only got a couple of pages done.

DH: Oh, you're blocked then.

Me: No! The idea isn't fully matured yet.

DH: So you're blocked.

Me: *huff* No, it's like expecting a lamb to produce wool. It ain't gonna happen.

Of course, any time I use a farming metaphor it royally confuses city-bred DH.

Here's the deal. I've had a character fragment runing through my head for a while, a definite picture of a heroine of a western/steampunk story. And for the record, this idea's been floating in my head for a very long time. I love shows like The Wild, Wild West; The Adventures of Briscoe County, Jr.; and Legend.

So when Rick Daley threw out his writing challenge on The Public Query Slushpile, I figured now's the time to flesh out the idea.

But an idea is just a lamb, and a lamb can't produce wool (i.e. actually story) until it grows up to be a sheep (the outline).

Luckily, ideas don't have the biological growth rate of a real lamb. The full outline is almost to my satisfaction. And all I need for Rick's challenge is the query and first five pages.

I've already got a partial I want to finish this summer, but I've got a feeling this may end up being my 2010 NaNo project.

Fear IS the Mind Killer

Currently reading - Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Whether or not you've read Dune (or seen the movie or watched the mini-series), take the title of today's blog to heart. If you think you have writer's block, admit to yourself what it really is.

Fear.

Pure and simple fear.

The question you have to ask youself--what is it you're really afraid of?

For me, it's fear of success. Whenever I had any kind of accomplishment as a child, I would be mocked, primarily by my own mother. That success/mockery set up an ugly pattern in my life, one I've struggled to overcome.

I'm not saying dealing with fear is easy. But by acknowledging it, dragging out into the sunlight, fear loses its power. Clearing your path of the shadows lets you proceed to become the person, and writer, you were meant to be.

Writer's Block or Excuses?

Currently reading - Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

I've noticed an interesting trend. Lately, whenever a published author says "There's no such thing as writer' block," a swarm of folks start with the bashing. The pubbed author has no idea what she's talking about. She has no idea of the pressure the critic is under. Writing is art, and you can't rush art.

To date, not one of these critcs whose comments I've perused is a published author. Correlation?

As my crit partner, Christie Craig would say, "My daddy was a plumber. He got up every morning to go work. Not once did he say, 'I can't work today. I've got plumber's block.'"

And that, kids, is why some folks succeed in this crazy business and others don't.

On the Road Again...

Got a few pages done today. Yea!

The only real problem is the climax wall. Whenever I start writing the climatic finale, I hesitate. I really don't want the ride to be over. These characters are so much fun I don't want them to leave.

*sigh*

Thank Djehuti for sequels. . .

Stuck in the Mud

Sometimes the words don't flow. Sometimes they come out in a muddy trickle and are absolutely crap. Sometimes they hiccup and gurgle and refuse to some out at all.

Why?

Maybe it's because the well's going dry. It's been overused. Or maybe proper maintenance hasn't been performed on the plumbing. Maybe there's a break in the water line.

In my case, I think it's a little of all of the above. If you want to make it in this business, you have to take care of the writing equipment. I don't mean your computer or writing chair or dictionary. I mean your body. Your health. Your soul.

A lot of my normal care slid to the wayside in the wake of some personal things hitting the fan. And I forgot what's really important.

Until a friend's situation reminded me. She has a family member facing a pretty awful surgery out of state, and her regular pet sitter was unavailable. I volunteered to watch her darling pups, but I told her she's actually doing me a favor. I'll have her house to myself.

On my day off.

And I know a little rest, relaxation and ball playing will restart my stuck pump.

Hitting the Wall

Sometimes a writer finds it hard to write. Call it writer's block. Call it burnout. Call it the subconscious telling the conscious mind, "WTF? You can't let the heroine do that!" It happens to all writers at some point in their lives.

Usually if I get stuck, the reason is #3. (Actually, it has always been #3.)

My subconscious is pretty smart. She knows when something's going off track, and she fights like the dickens to yank the steering wheel to keep the story on the asphalt. But my conscious will battle for control of the story. She hates backseat drivers, even when she has no freakin' clue of what she's doing. When they're not working like the well-oiled machine they are, it's not a question of when the story hits the wall, but how hard.

A glancing blow with a tire or bumper that leaves streaks but story's still cruising along?

Or a head-on that shatters the story, leaving plot and character development strewn along the path?

Sometimes it pays to let go of the ego and listen to that backseat driver.