A Month of Elton John

And finally, my favorite Sir Elton anthem!

Hero De Facto Is on Sale!!

This will be the last time Hero De Facto will be discounted on Amazon US this year.

If you didn't pick up an e-book copy of Hero De Facto when it was free, it is currently $0.99 for the next 33 hours starting with this post at 11 AM EDT. After that, the price will increase by $1.00 each 33 hours until the e-book is back to its regular price.

Buy Hero De Facto at Amazon US

I'm Still Alive...

...but today's the first deadline, and I have to have files to my formatter before the end of the day. See you all on the other side!

Still Chugging

As I said Friday, I have two books to finish in roughly seven days. I've got my Pepsi Max, my ice tea, a bag of potato chips, and a box of Little Debbie Peanut Butter Pies. Screw the calories, and full speed ahead!

A Month of Elton John

One of the most delightful tunes in Sir Elton's repertoire.

Power Writing!

I've got to have A Matter of Death finished and edited before June 26th. Yep, in five days. Because the gal who does my formatting will be out of the office from the 4th of July through the rest of the month.

Hey, at least she warned me.

So this is a little note saying I'm writing my butt off! Have a great weekend!

My Mind Is Scarmbled!

Between numerous dental appointments and trying to get A Matter of Death sorted so it makes sense, I totally forgot to post on Monday.

First of all, I'm fine. Except for the snoring. And the low-grade sleep apnea. But it's not bad enough to go for a CPAP. Honestly, I don't know if I could handle a CPAP. I can't sleep with air blowing on me.

It's only one of my many peculiarities. I have a lot.

So the sleep specialist handed me off to my dentist's partner for a mouth guard specifically for sleep apnea. It's a nifty thing that reminds me of a cross between my old retainer and my sports mouth guard. So they took impressions of teeth and created the device. Now, it's a question of fine-tuning it so I can sleep without dislocating my jaw in the process.

It's the first time I've EVER had a dentist recommend I chew gum. Sugarless, of course.

Then there's A Matter of Death. *sigh*

I got off-kilter somewhere along the way. Not panicking because I did something similar on A Modicum of Truth. I finally figured out the problem, and now I back on track. However, I put myself in a time crunch since I wanted to release it next month.

This will be a challenge, scary and exciting at the same time.

So, what are y'all doing this summer? *grin*

A Month of Elton John

In 1997, Elton rewrote the lyrics to his ode to Marilyn Monroe for his friend Diana's funeral. I still cry when I hear this version.

The 2,000th Post

I started this blog in 2009. Back then, every writer was expected to have a blog. I've tried a few different styles. None of them seemed quite me. So over time, I simply talked about stuff I liked or affected the writer community or irritated the hell out of me.

September of 2009. Nearly ten years ago. I've published twenty books under my own name since then. That's in addition to the 2,000 blog posts, and I-don't-remember-how-many short stories, and the stuff I published as Alter Ego.

So what should I do to celebrate? Anybody have any suggestions?

How to Be a Writer

In a bowl, sprinkle Colonel Sanders' secret recipe seven herbs and spices over Lucky Charms you have stolen from a leprechaun. Pour a bottle of Coca-Cola (preferably the cane sugar formula from Mexico) over the mixture. Stir thoroughly and eat.

Have you vomited yet?

Unfortunately, there's newbie writers out there who would do exactly as I say because I'm a published writer. If you tell them the truth, they think your lying. But if you lie to them, they lap it up. So here are my answers from now on:

How do I write a book?

Hire someone on Fiverr for $100 to write it for you.

What if the middle part sucks?

Pay someone from Fiverr $1,000 to fix your shit.

How many times do I need to rewrite the book before I submit it to a publisher?

At least twenty times.

What if I can't come up with any ideas?

Pay someone on Fiverr $100 for five outlines.

How do I get readers' attention?

Pay me $100, and I'll tell you.

How do I market my books?

Pay me $10,000, and I'll do everything for you.

What if I don't want to do any of this shit? I just want my name on a book and see it on a shelf in Barnes and Noble.

Pay me $1,000,000, and I'll make it happen.


Let me know if you want to take me up on any of these offers. I could use the cash.