Can Writers Review Books?

Writers are in an incredibly difficult position. Most, if not all, of us started as readers. The love of story is what got us into this profession. Unfortunately, we can't talk about other writers' books without being accused of something.

I'm a pretty selective reader who delves into, well, just about anything. In fact, my only line is Christian romance, but there's always exceptions. I'll read anything Carla Rossi puts out. Not because she's a friend, but because she understands the difference between subtlety and beating someone over the head with a cross.

Which brings me to accusations of favoritism. When I said I was selective, I wasn't joking. I rarely pick up or download something that I know I'll hate. Which means pretty much everything I read will get three out of five stars or more.

Does this make me a Pollyanna? Someone who's unable or unwilling to criticize a fellow writer?

Maybe it does. But as I said on The Passive Voice, reading is a very subjective experience. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean it's wrong. All it means is that particular piece didn't do anything for me.

Have I read things I hate? Of course, but there's only one book I've read in the last ten years.that would have gotten zero stars. It was a paranormal romance where the so-called hero committed what in Texas would be a minimum of aggravated sexual assault against the heroine. I have a serious problem with rape as titillation, so the author in question lost me as a reader.

Now, what exactly would it gain me by going onto Amazon, Goodreads, etc., and blast this lady?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In fact, I would lose in the long run.

Why? Oh, goddess, there's too many reasons to count, but I'll list a few. She's a NYT best selling author and I'm not. therefore there would be accusations of jealousy. No matter how carefully I worded the review I'd be the one coming across as a douche. Rape fantasy is the number one sexual fantasy among American women so more than one friend has questioned what's wrong with me because they thought that particular scene was very hot. Her readers may decide I need to be taught a lesson and one-star my books in retaliation.

It's the last example that brings me to the current issues with both Goodreads and Amazon. (FYI - Amazon purchased Goodreads in March of this year.) Accusations of gaming the system drove the changes to Amazon. Accusations of bullying drove Goodreads' changes.

A lot of folks are upset about these revisons Amazon made to their review policy last year. Goodreads revised their review policies on September 20th. Many readers feel the new policies are draconian and limit their free speech. The reason in both cases are abuses of both businesses' reviewing policies by both readers and writers.

Was there a happy medium before either company went Big Brother on everybody's asses?

Yes, but neither side wished to meet in the middle. Extremism has become the word of the day, not civility. Former agent, now author, Nathan Bransford tried to discuss the problem, but the comments on his blog quickly escalated into vitriol by those with vested interests on each side of the Goodreads divide. Nathan had to disable comments because things got so out of hand.

And underneath the truckloads of manure are all the people who, like me, just want a place to hang out and talk books.

Do reader's have the right to discuss why they don't like a particular book? Yes, they do. Can writers get upset about bad reviews? Yes, they can. It's what both sides do after that, threats, listing people's personal info, etc. that becomes the problem.

The whole situation reminds of why I stopped mediating divorce cases. Invariably, neither spouse was innocent. A lot of hate was spewed, a lot of ugly accusations, a lot of lies. The children were caught in the middle. Sometimes the divorcing parents could get the kids to take sides. Most of time, the kids would hate both parents by the time everything was said and done. Both parties harangued me for trying to get them to let go of their hate and come to a settlement. And both parties raged at the judge because she HAS to end this situation one way or another. Sound familiar?

So what am I going to do?

1) I'm going to continue talking about finding the new authors I love (like when I discovered Gail Carriger), new books from old favorites that I'm squeeing over ( Lilith Saintcrow's new paranormal steampunk series, the Bannon and Clare Mysteries, rocks!), and occasionally, the stuff I dislike (Star Trek: Into Darkness isn't quite as bad as Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, but it comes pretty damn close).

2) I'm going to keep a close eye on comments. If parties from either side come here to continue their Goodreads feud, I will shut down comments. I've already disabled anonymous comments. There's plenty of other places in the internet-verse for y'all to rip into each other.

Civility is the key. There's no reason not to use it when it comes to books.

Videos I've Been Watching Lately (NSFW Edition)

Seriously, folks. This is Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls. When I say NOT SAFE FOR WORK, it means watch it at home and laugh your ass off! It's her rebuttal to a Daily Mail review of, not her show, but her escaping bosom.

BAMF Girls Club - Episode 11

I love Fridays! Especially when there's a new BAMF Girls episode!

Jeff Bezos on Innovation

I smurched the link from Passive Guy because I think everyone needs to hear this message. It not only applies to the publishing industry, but the world as a whole.

Monday Movie Mania - Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

First of all, let me say that both my son and I love Rick Riordan's series involving Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon. Rick does an incredible job of updating Greek mythology and making it accessible to today's kids.

Second of all, let me say Logan Lerman is an amazing young actor. I LOVED Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Lightning Thief. But even with a dream cast including Stanley Tucci, Nathan Fillion and Anthony Stewart Head, this movie could not be saved.

Like World War Z, this movie only has the title and a handful of elements to link it to its source book. Unlike World War Z, there was almost nothing to redeem it even with the Civil War zombies used as comedic relief (which if you've read the book, you'll know what I'm talking about).

I wasn't the only one angry about how the producers, director and writer treated Rick's source material. GK walked out of the theater furious as hell and bitched about how they mishandled one of his favorite books all the way home and well into the next day.

I have to give a lot of credit to Logan and the rest of the cast for attempting to redeem a sucky script, but not even Meryl Streep and Sir Laurence Olivier could have saved this turkey.

The cast's efforts are the ONLY reason I give this movie a score of 2 out of 10.

DON"T WASTE YOUR MONEY! GO BUY RICK'S BOOKS INSTEAD!

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

The start of the haggis adventure!

Stop Saying "I Can't Get into Libraries"

For the longest time in the U.S., the best method for reader discovery of books was the public library system. I'm not going to expound on Benjamin Franklin and his belief in an educated populace. You can find that on Wikipedia.

Unlike bookstores, libraries as a whole are very welcoming to most authors. Their whole purpose of existence is to promote reading. (If you think that is the purpose of a bookstore, I've got a clue you can buy. It'll cost you a piece of green paper with Mr. Franklin on it.)

What astounds me is the unreasonableness of both traditional publisher and indie publishers in regards to libraries. Traditional publishers charge libraries twice as much for hard cover editions with a special plastic slipcover that costs them a few cents. Plus, they expect with normal wear and tear, the library will replace the book every few years, so they count on a library paying hundreds of dollars for the same book.

However, e-books don't wear out. The traditional publishers are absolutely freaking over this fact. Some refuse to sell e-books.to libraries. Some sell with licensing limits. If you're a writer with a traditional publishing company, you may be fucked. Try to talk politely with your editor and give him or her the numbers they need to give to the money people to get your books before more eyeballs.

Then there's indie authors who stomp into a library and demand that they carry the author's books. The behavioral issues with bookstores I mentioned Wednesday apply to libraries as well. In other words, be nice and do your homework.

Some libraries will take paper donations; some won't If enough patrons request a certain book, the library will generally order it. But don't have your family and friends do this. It's just like having them give five-star ratings on Amazon. People will eventually catch on, and they will not be please with you.

Here's a caveat: Not all libraries have the wherewithal to go electronic. You have to remember libraries depend on government funding, donations, and fund raising sales. E-book infrastructure can be very expensive. Screaming at some poor librarian because she doesn't take e-books (yet) will only make you look bad.

Don't throw a hissy fit if a library doesn't carry erotica. Yes, it may be some self-righteous prick censoring your free speech. Or it may be the library's charter or bylaws prohibits certain content.

Which brings me to--know how your library system works! Which means do your research! Yes, I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm amazed how many people have no fucking clue of how their local government operates. If you want to make changes, get involved.Volunteer. Run for the Library Board of Directors.

All I ask is that you don't sit on your hands and whine. Most libraries are public affairs, which means citizens have a say. That doesn't mean bully your neighbors or threaten to to blow up the library because they won't carry your autobiography about your carnal love affair with your Dalmatian.

Want a hint? Just because your own small town library doesn't have electronic lending, that doesn't mean you cannot contact the bigger libraries around the country. Many, such as the Harris County Public Library (Houston, TX), are building their e-book section

If you're an indie writer, you need to think like a businessperson. No one's going to do this for you. Decide if it's worth your time to get your books into libraries. Like I said, it may get you tons of readers in the long run.

Stop Saying "I Can't Get into Bookstores"

WOW! I just realized that this is my 1000th post. I'd realized that milestone I would have done something special. I'll see what I can do next week. Meanwhile,on to my latest rant!

***

A couple of issues have been going around the indie-verse along with some myths that are, well, frankly, pissing me off. I went on a rant about author negativity and this is a variation on the original, but over two specific items.

1) Indies Can't Get Bookstores to Carry Their Books

This one's partly true, partly false. It is very,very hard to get into a chain bookstores. A chain's corporate parents freak at the thought of any of their minions not marching in lockstep. I know because I had several lovely young employees pressure their manager into stocking my books as a local author. Unfortunately, this was Barnes & Noble, which meant management has a very bad case of ADS (that's "Amazon Derangement Syndrome" for those unfamiliar with the acronym).

Getting into an independent bookstore can be easier or harder depending on (a) the owner and staff, (b) the indie writer's behavior, and (c) the genre.

(a) Some owners and staff feel it's their duty to save Western civilization. Therefore, any writer not properly vetted by someone with an MFA, instead of the unwashed masses, cannot sully their store. Ignore these people. There's lots of owners and staff who will support any writer. Well, almost any writer.

(b) Do your homework. Find out what they carry. Which distributor they order from. This is much easier if you actually frequent their establishment. Build a rapport with the staff. Most of all, don't walk in with a giant chip on your shoulder, insisting that they bow before you. (And yes, I've seen this happen.) Go in with a plan BASED ON WHAT THEY DO. Not what you want them to do. Know whether your distributor accepts returns on your book. And if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, get thee to Kristine Katherine Rusch's blog pronto! And always, ALWAYS be polite and professional, even if the other person isn't.

(c) There are two independent bookstores in Houston I know of that are very willing to work with writers. Unfortunately, one focuses on romance. While I have romantic elements in most of my books, the ones that are true romance are erotic romance under Alter Ego's name. This, being a child friendly place, does not carry erotica. Which bring me back to the last sentence in (b)--do NOT criticize the owner's policies. He or she knows his/her customers better than you ever will.

On the other hand, there's a mystery/thriller specialty bookshop called Murder by the Book. None of my current series would fit with their stock, but a new series idea I'm doodling with (think a sword and sorcery version of CSI) would be accepted. (Before any readers start yelling at me, I will get Blood Sacrifice out before I start on this project!)

Friday, I'll talk about getting into libraries.

Monday Movie Mania - Rush

[As I was writing my post for 03/30/2015, I realized I didn't properly disclose that Studio Movie Grill e-mailed me free tickets to see Rush at a special screening before the movie's general release. I redeemed one ticket for the evening show. Whew! Now I feel better! - Suzan, 03/28/15]

Like Apollo 13, Rush is a Ron Howard biography, which means you take any historical accuracy with a shaker of salt, tequila, and a lime. I wanted to see it because my dad used to race, because we watched a lot of Formula One races, and because I remember Niki Lauda's awful accident in 1976

I can't really say SPOILERS because the bulk of the movie was based on historical fact. But if you are that shy about them, close your browser NOW!

While the bulk of marketing and attention for this movie focuses on Chris Hemsworth (and I will give him his due in a moment), the story is really about Austrian F1 driver Niki Lauda, played by Daniel Bruhl. From a story standpoint, Howard sets the film up nicely to make Niki the villain of the piece and Hemsworth's James Hunt as the hero. He neatly switches the roles of the two drivers midway through the film. The beginning introduces the early racing careers of the two men, but the thrust of their story is their 1976 battle for the F1 World Championship.

Pros:
1) Both Bruhl and Hemsworth capture their respective racers' eccentricities without turning the men into caricatures. They were polar opposites united by their love of the sport.

2) Howard doesn't shy away from Hunt's excesses, including cocaine, pot and alcohol. Those excesses may have contributed to Hunt's early death of a heart attack at age forty-five.

3) Gratuitous Chris Hemsworth butt shots!

Cons:
1) The film paints Niki and James as mortal enemies. In reality, while they were intense rivals, they were actually very good friends.

2) Ron has a bad, bad habit as a director of obviously jerking the audience's emotional chains. I think a lighter touch along with Danial Bruhl's marvelous performance would have worked better with this movie.

One last note: I vote that Chris replaces Daniel Craig as James Bond in 10-15 years. If you go see Rush, you'll understand why in the scene where Hunt meets his future wife for the first time.

Overall, I give this movie 9.5 out of 10.

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

Amanda Palmer doing Rocky Horror on Halloween. Samhain doesn't get better than this.

You Can't Fuck Over Your Audience

When it comes to indie writers, there are two major gripes by readers:

1) The story is too short.
2) They are getting ripped off.

Frankly, the readers have valid complaints, but what most writers aren't understanding is that this isn't two different problems. It is the same problem; readers are not getting a COMPLETE story.

Much of the writers' confusion stems from from a couple of misconceptions:

1) Short stories don't sell.
2) Readers love series.

In regards to short stories, a single short is not economical to print. So trad publishers would bundle them into one volume, and then not market the book. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In regards to series, yes, readers go bonkers about them because they enjoy spending time with characters they love. But in a series, each individual tome needs a complete story.

For a story to be complete, it has to have a definitive arc. A beginning, a middle and an end. Stopping in the middle of the story is like stopping in the middle of sex. It's just not satisfying.

Then there's the promise of the genre itself. For example, in erotica, the protagonist's sexual journey changes her. In romance, the heroine and hero find their HEA, or at the very least their HFN. But if an indie writer advertises her story as an erotic romance, she needs to deliver on both promises.

I read a story that was novella length and was advertised as an erotic romance where the heroine was changed by her experience, but she left the hero at the end of the book. The writer received a large number of one-star ratings complaining that the story was too short. The writer believed the readers wanted a novel-length book. What they really wanted was the hero and heroine together at the end.

Our audience is not stupid. As long as you've set up the premise properly and deliver on your promise, they will generally accept your complete story no matter the actual wordcount.

Example 1
Brie's First Day of Submissive Training by Red Phoenix, 47 pages, first book in a nine-book series.

Red's best-selling series is a perfect example of short works combining into a cohesive whole. In the first volume, Brie makes a decision to attend a submissive training school, follows through on that decision, and learns something about herself in the process. This story is perma-free with sexually explicit content, but I strongly suggest downloading it to study Brie's character arc.

Example 2
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin, 720 pages, first book in a seven-book series.

Another best seller at the opposite end of the spectrum--the epic fantasy. Reader complaints about George don't include the "It's too short" wail. While the character arcs for the other POV characters are just as complete, Daenerys Targaryen deserves special mention. Her storyline was sliced out of the main book and put together as a Hugo-award-winning novella, Blood of a Dragon.

Example 3
Se7en, (1995) starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey, directed by David Fincher, written by Andrew Kevin Walker.

I include this because Andrew's story and script is so gut-wrenching, yet makes perfect sense. Pitt, Fincher and Walker battled the studio to keep the original ending, and they did the right thing. When the detectives are chasing a serial killer so perverse that sadism should be renamed to "doe-ism," giving the movie a Mary Sunshine ending would have pissed the audience off more. This is a prime example of a not-so-happy ending completing the story. Spacey's Doe, who has been pulling the strings from the first minute of the film, manipulates Pitt's Detective Mills into committing his final murder.

Example 4
The shortest story ever has been attributed to Ernest Hemingway: "Baby shoes for sale. Never worn."

Is this a complete story? You betcha. The entire arc, beginning-middle-end, is there.

The Final Take
Your story can be any length. One of the great things about e-publishing is that writers don't have to worry about the physical limitations or expenses of print. Your story can be as short or as long as it needs to be. Just make sure your story is COMPLETE, the full story arc without any filler.

And don't insult your audience's intelligence by selling them one incomplete snippet at a time. They will know and they will not be pleased.

Aired Only One Time

Budweiser only aired this Super Bowl commercial once--for obvious reasons. A second version using much of the same footage aired on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11.

Monday Movie Mania - World War Z

After the packing, the hot water heater situation, the car brakes going kaput, I FINALLY got to see World War Z, THE movie I wanted to see this summer. Because, you know, ZOMBIES!


* * *


SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE


* * *

First off, I loved the book! I was a little pissed off because Max Brooks would have been pitching it at the same time I was pitching Zombie Love, and all these agents and editors told me, "Zombie aren't marketable."

I didn't hold it against Max. Not HIS fault. If you haven't read it, the book is about a journalist collecting survivors' stories ten years AFTER the zombie apocalypse, and he pieces together a fuller account of, well, basically the destruction of the world as we know it.

Frankly, I wasn't sure how that would play as a summer blockbuster. And I was right. Other than the name and, well, zombies, there's not a whole lot in common.

Brad Pitt plays Gerry a former trouble-shooter for the U.N. He's living quietly in Philly with his wife and two daughters (major kudos for not making it fucking Manhattan) when the zombie outbreak hits the city. In the resulting chaos, Gerry and family flee to Newark, NJ (another plus in the not-obvious-setting category), where they become trapped.

A Hispanic family gives them shelter for the night. Gerry manages to contact his U.N. buds and a chopper is on its way. The other dad refuses to let his family go with Gerry's. (Negative points in the stereotypical portrayal of macho Hispanic male stupidity and more negative points in the "You know what's going to happen next" category.)

Hispanic parents are eaten. Little boy flees with Gerry and family to an aircraft carrier and its escort fleet off the coast of New York. The American brass and the remainder of the U.N. have an uneasy truce. The science team on board believes the zombies are the result of a viral infection, and they need to find the source to develop a vaccine. Gerry is given the choice of helping the virologist or his family gets kicked off the carrier. The rest of the movie turns into a race to find a possible cure.

Pluses
- This is the year for some kickass women. Gerry saves the life of a female Israeli soldier named Segen by chopping off her hand after its been bitten. Despite being one-handed through the rest of the movie, she saves Gerry's ass time and time again.

- Gerry realizes the zombies are avoiding diseased humans, which sets up, not a cure, but a way for the non-infected populace ti fight without putting themselves in danger.

- The movie's cast and crew did a wonderful job of creating the horror of the situation without a ton of blood and gore. Seriously, there's less gore in the entire movie than there is in five minutes of The WALKING DEAD.

- The action scenes were realistic. Gerry and anyone around him suffers real damage from the incidents in the story. None of this "twenty bullets and it's just a flesh wound" crap.

- The behavior of the zombies was freaking cool! One of the reasons I wanted to see this was this insect-like behavior of the zombies in the trailers. Not the typical argument of slow vs. fast zombies. This more like getting attacked by a swarm of giant bees!

Minuses
- There some things you just don't do, like giving a loaded pistol to an inexperienced dork who has no respect for firearms. When the virologist panics and shoots himself by accident during a zombie attack, I laughed my ass off. It's a wonder that the five other people in the theater didn't call security.

- The pacing was off. Rather than a complete story, it felt like the first act of a three-act play. I'd avoided most articles and news pieces over the summer because I hate spoilers. But apparently, there was some major push-and-shove between Pitt and his production team and Paramount. The studio shut down development of the trilogy because of cost overruns. Of course, Paramount changed their minds at the end of June when the movie crossed the $1 billion mark worldwide. Even with this information in mind, the movie still feels vaguely disappointing. I'll probably pick up the movie when it comes out on Blu-Ray to see if I can put a finger on what's bothering me.

- The Hispanic dad as I mentioned above.

- Brad modeling his character too closely to his real-life family was a little--icky. I don't read the Brangelina crap in the tabloids for a reason.

Overall, I'd give this movie a 7 out of 10.

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

Two of the greatest entertainers ever with smuggled vegetarian haggis!

Emerging Markets and Other Publishing Ephemera

I really shouldn't have stayed up until two a.m. to work on Blood Sacrifice. The problem is that the book's done in my head, but since I can't beam images directly to readers' brains, I have to actually write down what happens.

And I really want to work Zombie Goddess, which isn't quite done in my head. I'm already fifteen pages into that novel, so hopefully it won't take over a year to finish the f***ing thing. Keep your fingers crossed. I might have it done by Christmas.

Ah, such is the life of a writer!

Several odds and ends have happened over the last week that don't require a full post, but are worth a mention.

Amazon has started a new program called Kindle Matchbook. Basically, it offers your print book and the same e-book for one low price. It shows that Amazon is thinking of the customer first, something the BPHs and other retailers just aren't getting. I generally buy the Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital packages for movies (if they're available), so it makes perfect sense to me. I just need to get my act together and release print versions of my books.

Over at Smashwords, Mark Coker has introduced two new markets, FlipKart and Oyster.

Flipkart is an Indian online bookseller. I don't know about anyone else, but my Asian sales have sucked. I understand that India has the largest English-speaking population in Asia, but I'm not sure my style of books will fly there due to language, violence and sex. This one of those "we'll see" things.

Oyster is a booklending service on par with Netflix for TV shows and movies, i.e. unlimited consumption for one low price per month. On the consumer side, I LOVE the idea. From the provider side, I have a lot of concerns, especially when Smashwords arbitrarily signs everyone up for the service without detailing how we are to be compensated. If you don't believe me, go check out your Channel Manager. I've opted out of the program until I get more details.

Writer Paul Cook tried to stir the bigotry fire in sci-fi/fantasy once again with a misogynistic opinion piece at Amazing Stories, then got pissed off when the heat fried his ass. Here's my take:

1) "There's girl cooties on my sci-fi" was old back in the '70's when I started reading SF as a kid. Get over yourself, Paul.

2) He didn't even compare hard sf to hard sf. He pulled science fantasy and steampunk out of his ass to compare to Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series, which is military SF, not romance as he claims. WTF?

The scary part is that this guy teaches literature, but can't tell the difference between subgenres in his field.

Okays, folks, I'm off to get a pizza to munch on while I try to tie up this novel. Hang loose and have a great weekend!

The Initial Results of the Joe Konrath/KDP Select Experiment

Midnight PDT last night ended the free period for Love, War and a Bulldog, the short story I wrote for Joe Konrath's eight-hour challenge. The giveaways are as follows:

U.S. - 198
Canada - 3
Mexico - 0
U.K. - 19
Germany - 9
Spain - 0
France - 1
Italy - 2
Japan - 0
India - 0
Brazil - 0

Total - 232

OMG, you didn't giveaways thousands of books! Your experiment was a total failure!

No, it wasn't by my standards. Granted, my standards are a lot different that other writers. My ultimate goal is SUSTAINED GROWTH. I'm (hopefully) building a long-term audience. My purposes (outside of seeing if I could write a decent, entertaining 4.5K short story within eight hours) were the following:

1) Give potential new readers a taste of my style. I'm not going to please everyone. I can't because I write in a very niche market. But a free book coupled with a holiday weekend brought the expected number of giveaways.

2) Penetrate new markets. So far I've only sold in the U.S. and the U.K. on Amazon, except for one fluke in Germany back in 2011. As shown above, I've got books on people's readers in France, Italy and Canada now.

3) Spur interest in the Bloodlines series.My perma-free novella, Zombie Confidential, giveaways are up 20% over this weekend, and a couple of copies of Blood Magick have sold.

4) Spur interest in my other books. Spring, from the Seasons of Magick series, sold a copy in Germany over the weekend.

The one drawback was some of my readers are a little miffed that Love, War and a Bulldog isn't available on the NOOK or iBookstore yet. It will be available on or about December 1, which ironically was when I planned to released it originally before Joe threw his gauntlet on the floor.

What I may do for the next Bloodlines short story is make it exclusive on B&N for three months. Just to see what happens.

What I WON'T DO is make any of the novels exclusive to any retailer. That's a guaranteed way to alienate my readers. I view the novels as the main feature and the shorts as the DVD extras.

So what's the final analysis? With the rapid changes in the publishing industry, no one method is guaranteed anymore. What works for you may not work for me, and vice-versa. Don't be afraid to experiment.

A Gentle Reminder

Just a little reminder (in case you didn't see Friday's post) that Love, War and a Bulldog is FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon.

Videos I've Been Watching Lately

Anybody else watch the MTV Video Music Awards last Sunday? I'm not really sure why Lady Gaga tried to recreate her video. She normally takes an element of the concept and twists it into something new and different. Instead, her performance looked rather stilted with all the costume changes. Theories? Comments?

On the other hand, staying with her grandparents and eating some good West Virginian homecooking seems to have done wonders for her. This is the healthiest she's looked in a lo-o-o-ong time!

Get More: 2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Lady Gaga