Date Night

DH and I are trying to do date nights on Fridays again. Life got the better of us for the first six months of the year. We weren't really talking. Not that we had a fight or were holding a grudge or anything like that. He's been learning a new computer language. I've been battling words to finished A Cup of Conflict (over 300 pages as of yesterday). So we've making an effort to make time for each other.

I think that's where a lot of marriages fail. Some people don't want to put the effort into their relationship. or worse, they get caught up in their internal fairy tale ending. But a spouse is real person with real needs that are separate from yours.

Let me give you an example. DH grew up in a traditional middle-class family. Dad had an office job. Mom kept the house. DH was one of five kids. There was always something going on: school plays, music lessons, sports practice, etc. It was a loud, active household. At the beginning of our relationship, he'd turn on the TV for background noise as soon as he got home from work.

On the other hand, I am an extreme introvert. I grew up on a farm, so silence was the norm. Our nearest neighbors with kids our age was a mile away. I was perfectly fine traipsing through the fields by myself. We could only get one TV station, so I read a lot. I was uncomfortable in large groups of people.

With DH's need for noise and my need for silence, we literally drove each other crazy at first. But eventually, we found some compromises that don't make us want to kill the other person.

The compromise thing is hard, but it is worth it. I wish more people realized that fact.