Diva Critique Partners

Finding a great critique partner is like sending the Curiosity Rover to Mars, except it's a lot more than "seven minutes of sheer terror." Finding a bad critique partner is like shooting fish in a barrel, except a lot messier.

And a good critique partner will point out all those cliches you just wrote, and she will gently suggest that you rewrite the passage.

So here's five tips on what not to do so your critique partners don't call you a diva behind your back:

1) A little politeness goes a long way.

Constructive criticism can be delivered in a way that doesn't leave the writer in tears. Instead of saying, "My five-year-old could have written a better paragraph," try "I think your hero needs to show some emotional reaction here."

2) You don't know everything.

Make sure you know what you're talking about when you're offering criticism. "A PI, a lawyer and a cop walked into an RWA meeting" sounds like the start of a bad joke, but the three of us shared all kinds of stories of bad advice we've gotten from other writers. Just because you're an avid fan of Magnum, P.I., CSI or Law & Order does not make you an expert. If you think something feels wrong in the manuscript, mention it, but refer back #1 before you tell a twenty-year HPD homicide detective he doesn't know his job.

3) Leave your personal bias at home.

We all have them, that little thing that hits our squick button. I recently had a long conversation with a friend about the prevelence of the Cinderella/rape fantasy stories since 50 Shades of Gray came out. Needless to say, the subject does not turn me on in the slightest. Sure enough, another friend asks me to look at her manuscript which features...wait for it....a Cinderella/rape fantasy.

If you can be objective about a subject that turns your stomach, great! But if you can't objectively look at your critique partner's work, you need to tell him. Again, refer to back to #1.

4) Don't rewrite your critique partner's story.

I admit this was my BIG problem under the guise of "I'm just making a suggestion." Actually, it's down-right insulting and insinuates that your partner can't write. I've had critique partners go as far to give me whole different plots along with sample dialogue. Mention the problem you see, but let your partner find his own solution.

5) Acknowledge when the partnership is not working.

Sometimes, despite everyone's good intentions, the relationship just doesn't work. That when you take a step back and have an honest conversation. As I've mentioned before, my friend Nancy and I realized our styles and genres were too different to really be able to help each other. She writes very sweet YA, and I write R-rated UF. But honest acknowledgement kept our friendship intact.

I'm not saying gentle honesty will always work. Some folks get their fee-fees hurt if you look at them sideways. Those are the relationships that you don't walk away from, you run!

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Have a brutally honest conversation about what each of you needs from a critique partner. Then be the kind of critique partner you would love to have!

Business Tip No. 1 - Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You

Currently reading - Black Magic Sanction by Kim Harrison

This isn't really a business plan thing, but considering how often it occurs, it's worth mentioning.

I've been lucky. A number of published authors have taken me under their wing and given their feedback, advice and assistance freely. These folks truly believe in "Pay it forward."

A few months ago, a new member of a writers group I belong to asked me to look at some pages, so I said, "Okay."

This isn't the first time I've been approached. It won't be the last. A few folks never came back to this organization when I didn't justify their brilliance. Others become fixated on the wrong things, like having a perfect first chapter.

And others? Well, they become defensive, like this particular person. I don't get their writing. If I read more, then I'd understand their story. I just don't understand this genre.

Any of this sound familiar? Yeah, I see a lot of similar complaints in agent and editor blog comments too. And unfortunately, this is why a lot of agents and editors won't give us writers any feedback. They've been bitten by our ilk too many times.

Here's the thing. I'm definitely not a gatekeeper. I do want to see this person succeed. But this means putting the effort into your writing, figuring out what does work, and fixing what doesn't. All I'm doing is giving an opinion of what I see working and what isn't for me. It doesn't mean I'm totally right or totally wrong. It's just an opinion.

After the new writer sat on my critique for a day, this person sent me a second e-mail saying 'Thank you.'

So here's my proverbial two cents: if you get a critique from anyone, simply say 'Thank you.' It doesn't matter if they're spot on or way off their rocker. They took the time to look at your project because you asked them to, so they deserve a little common courtesy.

Now if someone bullies you into letting them critique your writing. . .

Well, that's a whole 'nuther problem, isn't it?

Biting the Hand

Currently reading - Kitty Raises Hell by Carrie Vaughn

Continuing my diatribe from yesterday, why do writer wannabes cuss out the very people who are trying to help them?

Agents like Nathan Bransford, Jessica Faust and Janet Reid take time out of their busy schedules to tell writers exactly what they're looking for in manuscripts. Invariably some idiot berates them for not signing his or her masterpiece.

Or the idiot posts his or her manifesto in the comments section as to why agents are greedy bastards who real writers don't need.

*sigh*

If only these folks would put half that passion and energy into learning the craft and the business, they might actually hit NYT Bestseller status.

So here's a tip--if you don't agree with an agent's analysis of your work, let it go. But if more than one agent says the same damn thing, then maybe you'd better listen up.

Years ago, I had an agent say some rather negative things about setting one of my manuscripts in Los Angeles. The, um, discussion crashed spectacularly when this person made a biting remark about how I should only write about places I've been. Frankly this person's comments had nothing to do with the actual story, just the setting.

Now, I could have snarked back to this person. But what would it have accomplished? It didn't matter to this person that I've lived in, worked in or visited most other major U.S. cities. To some of these folks, there's New York and there's Los Angeles. Anything else in between is a figment of their imagination.

So, instead of getting pissed, I went home, brainstormed and came up with the plotline of Amish, Vamps & Thieves. The setting is where I grew up, Ohio Amish country.

And if this book sells, well, I may just have to acknowledge that particular agent.

The Golden Rules of Judging

One of the reasons I love talking to Nancy (current friend, former critique partner) is the myriad topics we can cover in a long lunch.

One of the things we did discuss was constructive criticism. We've both had experiences with folks who . . . Well, let's just say they didn't follow the Golden Rule.

Since I'm entering judging season (there are two contests I volunteer for every year around this time), I'm going to list my Golden Rules of Judging Writing Contests.

1) Treat the contest entrant with respect at all times.

2) Don't judge a genre you are unfamiliar with or your refuse to read recreationally. You're not doing the entrant any favors.

3) Find something the writer has done really well and praise it.

4) If the manuscript is not close to professional readiness, limit criticisms to the three major things that need improvement.

5) If the entrant seems to have used a word or concept improperly, LOOK IT UP before making a comment. You may be wrong.

6) Don't count off for the one typo found in the manuscript.

7) Flag that one typo and suggest the entrant fixes it before she starts submitting to agents or editors.

8) Never, EVER, make personal comments about the entrant. Only focus on the writing.

9) Suggest, don't command.

10) Give the entrant feedback on what affected you as a reader. That's part of why the entrant shelled out her hard-earned cash to enter the contest.

To all writers I'm about to judge, I salute you.

When Good Critique Partners Go Bad

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with my friend and former critique partner, Nancy.

Yep, that's right. Former critique partner. And still a friend.

I hear so many stories about folks whose critique groups implode, either through mismatch of personalities, callous behavior or downright nastiness. In most cases, folks stop talking altogether.

Here's a clue - it takes adult behavior to make a critique group work. It takes even more adult behavior to recognize when a critique situation isn't working and handling everyone's feelings with finesse.

In our case, Nancy and I had such opposite writing styles and genres--hers is light, innocent young adult and mine is snarky, violent urban fantasy--that we weren't really helping each other. And we knew it.

This doesn't mean we don't encourage each other, commiserate with the rejections and cheer on the baby steps toward publishing. It just means we can't give the hardcore feedback the other person really needs to grow as a writer.

So we take pleasure in each other's company occasionally while dissecting the latet bestseller over lunch.

Okay, we also drool over Taylor Lautner's abs.

Don't tell our husbands.