Writers and Social Media, Redux

There's a myth going around writer circles, egged on by trad editors and agents, that a writer HAS to do every, single type of social media available, and if you don't, then your writing career will fail miserably!

(Say that sentence all in one breath. I'll have an oxygen tank waiting for you.)

No, you don't have to do every single one. (Hold the mask to face and inhale.)

There's no measurable, predictable way to know which social media will work for you specifically. None. What worked for Amanda Hocking or J.A. Konrath or Bella Andre may or may not work you.

Why do I say this?

Because Suzan Harden DID everything and couldn't sell shit for her first year. Alter Ego did NOTHING, she had no plans to do so either, and sales took off in the second month.

Why did Alter Ego's sales take off with no social media? I published her first novella the month before everyone and their grandmother went apeshit for Fifty Shades of Grey. And that first novella happened to be a BDSM romance. So all those ladies needed a fix until Book 2 in the FSoG series came out. It all came to down to luck and timing.

As for the Suzan Harden books? Well, frankly, I burned myself out trying to do a zillion marketing things everyone insisted HAD to be DONE in order to be successful. And they didn't do jackshit for me.

So how do I decide what social media to engage in? I go where I am having fun.

Blogs

1) Alter Ego has a blog, but it acts as a surrogate website with announcements of releases, a mailing list sign-up, catalog of available books, and buy links. She doesn't anything more than that.

2) Suzan has two blogs. One is publishing business and other things she finds cool (i.e. the one you're reading right now). The other is for readers, where she posts short stories and samples from current wips. She also comments on the blogs of other folks actively involved in indie publishing.

Facebook

1) Alter Ego has a very active FB account. She loves talking to readers and other writers!

2) Suzan thinks FB sucks. Her husband insisted on creating a fan page. She tries to post something funny once a day, but often forgets. Even then she gets nasty messages from people she doesn't know (and sometimes from people she does know) who think she sucks. She'd chuck it all if a handful of fans hadn't started visiting the page this year.

Twitter

1) Alter Ego gets on Twitter once in a while, but for the most part has her FB posts going to her Twitter account.

2) Suzan has given up on Twitter because the only folks who follow her are other writers hawking their books and third party vendors trying to sell her their overpriced services for indie writers.


Yep, that's it. That's all I do. This isn't a slam against other social media you might enjoy.

Well, wait. That's not true. I won't do LinkedIn because they have a very bad habit of harvesting e-mails from your address book. (Or they did. I'll retract that last statement if someone can prove to me they've stopped.) I also won't do Pinterest because they made a blatant rights grab in their original terms of service. If that's changed, send me the link. But I refuse to go back to their website because they seriously pissed me off the first time.

The big thing you need to remember to BICHOK, aka Butt In Chair, Hands On Keyboard. (If you don't use a computer, then change the fucking acronym!) The best publicity/marketing is putting out a new story. All the promotion in the world won't help you if you do gain fans, and there's nothing else for them to buy.

Which means I need to get back to work!

Let's Talk About Sex

With all due respect to Salt-N-Pepa, I'm about to get graphic about sex, writing, and writing about sex. So if reading about various sex acts offends your fee-fee's, then you'll want to click away from this page now.

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Still here?

As most of my regulars know, I write some paranormal erotica under my name and more extreme stuff under The Alter Ego.

Two weeks ago, another erotica writer, let's call her Lady X, commented that I hold myself back in writing BDSM scenes. It took me several several days to realize what she really meant. I wasn't writing the Cinderella/rape fantasies that are super popular right now, things hitting the bestseller lists like 50 Shades of Gray.

In one way, she's right. I don't write rape fantasies because they don't turn me on. It's the reason I didn't like 50 Shades. Rape fantasy has replaced the "forced seduction" scenario that were so popular in the romance genre twenty/thirty years ago.

I do get why some women like these concepts. When you're working full-time, raising kids, performing your civic/religious duties, etc., you're tired of being totally responsible for everything. If you kick back to relax and have fun, then you feel guilty for enjoying yourself and not accomplishing more. So if the hunk of your dreams forces you to have a good time, then it's not you fault, right?

The problem is I find it disturbing that so many people equate BDSM with rape fantasy. There are some shared elements, but they are two different subjects.

Another factor with Lady X's criticism is I admit that I'm not a good enough writer to put something on paper that makes me ill. And quite frankly, I've seen too many writers I respect forced by their publishers to write something in a genre the writers don't like or are not comfortable with. Their lack of enthusiasm was obvious in their prose, and I dread to be in that position. Thankfully, as an indie writer, I don't have to write rape fantasies if I don't want to.

Please understand I'm not condemning writers or readers who are into fantasy rape scenarios. I know there are subjects I love to write that are turn-offs for other folks. For example, I'm working on a scene where my super-macho cop hero thnks he's about to be pegged by his domme. She messes with him and has another guy ass-fuck my hero. And my hero likes it! I can already visualize my editor cringing because she has an aversion male-male action.

Anyway, what my decision comes down to, I want to be respectful to those folks who practice BDSM, whether it be the lifestyle or the occasional weekend playdate. I truly believe in the SSC ("Safe, Sane, Consensual") philosophy when it comes to BDSM, with a particular emphasis on the "consensual" aspect. I make it clear my characters choose to do certain acts even if fear and/or anxiety get in their way sometimes.

By making sure my female characters are agreeing to certain sex acts like mutliple partners, they are taking control of their sexuality. And frankly, this is the positive example I'd rather leave with my readers.

Why Fifty Shades of Grey Is Truly Frightening

As I said on Friday, I think it's pretty cool that something like Fifty Shades of Grey, that started life on a  fan fic website, has found an audience. Things truly have changed in the publishing universe in a way that's very freeing for writers.

And then I read portions of the book itself.

Before I go farther, I'd like to point out the following:

1) I do not object to edgy content. I write BDSM stories under a pseudonym.
2) I've spent far too many sleepless nights dealing with friends and family members in abusive relationships.

Unfortunately, the story in 50 Shades of Grey crosses the line from S&M edge play into outright torture with Stockholm Syndrome overtones.

My squick factor (as my editor refers to it) hit pretty early in the story. The heroine Ana is scared of Christian, like really terrified. She refers to their scenes as beatings and/or assaults. I think sexologist Dr. Charley Ferrer said it best: "You play with your toys. You don't break them."

Christian says he wants Ana to sign a contract in regards to their BDSM relationship, then he tells her he'll fuck her anyway if she refuses to sign, regardless of what she wants. Sorry, folks, but that's still considered rape in most states.

From the pages I've read, Ana seems obsessed with pleasing Christian so he doesn't lose his temper and hurt her. Excuse me? That's abuse. A decent dom/domme doesn't play out of anger.

Then there's other stuff that strikes me as off the weird-o-meter. Like being twenty-one and never having been to a gynecologist? Or letting the guy pick out your doctor? I can respect still being a virgin at twenty-one, but losing your cherry in a kink-o-fest?

My biggest problem with the actual story is that millions of folks believe Fifty Shades of Grey reflects a BDSM relationship. It doesn't. I'm worried that some of these fans may die because they chose the wrong partner.