Friday Funtime and a GotG Fix

Disney is feeding my Guardian of the Galaxy addiction!

Because GotG Always Cheers Me Up

Music I've Been Listening to Lately

To round out the month, one last look at the Guardians of the Galaxy!

Music I've Been Listening to Lately

How can anyone not love Baby Groot jamming to the Jackson 5?

Music I've Been Listening to Lately

We watched Guardians of the Galaxy for the umpteenth time, and I still can't get over how the pop mix works so well with this movie!

Sexism and Superheroes

Back in the '80's, a gentleman (and I use the term loosely) wrote to Marvel. His letter was published in The Uncanny X-Men. (I can't tell you which issue number because my books are in storage right now.) The gist of his complaint was that he wasn't going to read that particular book anymore because the women of the team had stronger, cooler powers than the men. At the time, the team consisted of Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Shadowcat, and Rogue.

o_O Okkaaay. Yes, the guys of my generation could be insecure about their masculinity. At the time, I chalked it up to teen angst. I figured they'd grow out of it.

Jump ahead thirty years, and boy, was I wrong. These guys are still trying to exclude women from the hero world. This time, it's clothing for children.

The excuses are still the same. Boys won't wear girl characters. Girls won't wear superhero-related shirts. And they're both right up there with Warner Bros. excuse for not making a Wonder Woman movie.

Guys, you might want to take a look at my closet before you make that pronouncement. Girls like superheros. We like 'em even better if there are women superheroes in the mix.

And I won't just pick on Warner Brothers. Did Disney/Marvel think I wouldn't notice you didn't have one of the founding members of the Avengers in the movie? I'll give them a little credit. They did substitute Wasp with Black Widow instead of another male Avenger. And they are putting the Scarlet Witch in the next movie. Which still puts them a couple of steps above WB. But then drops them another step for not having Gamora with the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy on a t-shirt for little boys.

*sigh*

To the guys my age marketing shit to younger superhero fans: Kids today grew up with Buffy Summers and Katniss Everdeen and Hermione Granger. They'll wear shirts with Black Widow and Gamora. They'll even go see Wonder Woman if you make the movie right.

And by right, I mean having a team like Chris Nolan had for the Dark Knight trilogy. A team that passionately cares about the subject matter. Or is this all a plan to mess up the possibility of a movie because you don't want to see your sons wearing Wonder Woman t-shirts?

Guess what? Your sons are totally secure in their manhood. It's you that has the problem.

Monday Movie Mania - Guardians of the Galaxy

This is the movie I've been waiting for all summer, and it didn't disappoint. Yes, it's really bad when I've had a crush on an anthropomorphic raccoon for thirty years. Director James Gunn and his people hit all the right notes and perfectly captured the entire team's personalities.


**SPOILER ALERT**

PROS
1) Bradley Cooper did an excellent job as Rocket. He conveyed the heart as well as the raccoon's rapid banter.

2) As Groot, Vin Diesel's entire repetoire consisted of four words, and like Dr. Seuss, he did sooo much with what he had to work with.

3) The story hit all the right beats from each of the characters' growth arc to the fear of losing everything to stop Ronan.

4) Two words - Nova Corps! Does this mean we may have another series in development?

5) You have to stay for the cameo at the end! I don't know if it was supposed to be smoke from the wreckage of the Collector's ship or it really was a hidden cigar the character was holding, but I laughed my ass off.

CON
Yes, there is only one con. An editing glitch at the beginning of the climax. Seriously, that was the only problem in an absolutely terrific movie!

This is one of the parts of the Marvel franchise that could have been seriously screwed up, but the producers, director, cast and crew honored the title and characters. I can't wait for the sequel, which already has a tentative release date on July 28, 2017.

I give this movie a 10 out of 10 for sheer sci-fi action fun!

Why Male Geeks Can't Get Laid

Psst! Yeah, you with the latest issue of Wolverine. C'mere. Yeah, I know I have breasts. But I'm trying to help you.

See that girl over there? The one you just dissed for wearing glasses, lacking boobs, and not being hot enough? Loud enough to your friends, hoping to drive her out of the comic book store. You realize you missed your chance, don't you? She would have made you a nice girlfriend. She would have made your first time extra special.

Oh, please. Hate to tell you, kid, but I'm nearly fifty. Yeah, that does mean I'm older than your mom. It also means I can smell a virgin a mile away.

Don't give me that load of shit. The only experience you have is with your hand. I can see the blisters.

Let me point something out to you. The girls you fantasize about? The cheerleaders and the super models? They're not going to fuck you until you're my age. Even then, the only reason they will sleep with you is because of your fat bank account. And guess what? They're going to make fun of the things you love, like The Avengers and Star Wars and Firefly, behind your back.

That girl? She wouldn't make fun of you. Why? Because she loves the same shit you do. If you wanted to see the midnight showing of Guardians of the Galaxy, she'd be with you, carrying the jumbo tub of popcorn and your favorite candy. If you said, "Let's go to the Emerald City Comic Con," she'd be on her laptop buying con tickets and booking the flight. If you admitted your secret sex fantasy, she'd find that Catwoman costume and take whip lessons for you.

For you, doofus.

And guess what? It''s never going to happen now because you decided to be an asshole.

This is relatively minor. You have the chance to change. Yourself. Your perspective.

Maybe you go up to the girl and admit you were an asshole and apologize. Maybe she says you can make it up to her by buying her a slice at the pizzeria next door. And you two eat and talk and debate Kirk versus Picard, but you both admit you secretly liked Sisko best.

And fifteen years later, you two want to introduce your kids to the passion that is Comic Con geekdom. Your family dresses up as the Fantastic Four, and you're having a great time until some pimply faced boy makes a lewd comment about your daughter's Invisible Woman costume.

What are you going to do then?

Hopefully, you'll pull the kid aside and give him the same advice I'm giving you right now. Maybe he'll actually listen, like you did when I talked to you fifteen years ago.

If you catch him harassing your daughter or any other girl at the con again, then by all means, beat the shit out of him. But come get me first. I'll hold the asshole down with my walker.

* * *

This essay is in response to Cherry City Comic Con's director Mark Martin belittling female attendees' security concerns. Piece of advice, folks: don't ever mock your paying customers on social media.