Queries, Validation and Schrodinger's Cat

Currently reading - Soulless by Gail Carriger

I've been on a roll with the concept of validation this week.

Sunday, we talked about Pat and the Golden Heart, where an award only validates a certain level has been achieved but does not guarantee success down the road.

Yesterday, the writer I mentioned was seeking validation for the advice an attorney gave her young relative. Granted, she went about it incorrectly.

Today, we going to talk about queries, and why writers get so upset when they don't get an answer from an agent.

The request for a partial or a full creates its own sense of validation. "My story is good enough for someone in the publishing industry to read it!"

Even if the writer receives a rejection, his/her work has been acknowledged as existing.

However, when no answer is received, writers have this tendency to turn into a state of quantum superposition. For those without a physics background, quantum superposition postulates that a subatomic particle (in our case, a query) exists in all states (both accepted and rejected) until the moment of definite measurement (the opening of the e-mail or snail mail), at which point the subatomic particle falls into a definite state.

The most famous example of this quantum superposition theory is Schrodinger's cat, where the poor kitty could be both alive and dead until the moment the experimenter opened the special box the cat was in. Then the cat would either alive or dead.

(NOTE: Before the ASPCA or the Humane Society gets their panties in a twist, this is thought experiment. Erwin Schrodinger exchanged a series of letters with Albert Einstein over a 1935 paper Einstein co-wrote on the theory of quantum superpositions. No cats were harmed by either physicist to the best of my knowledge.)

Now, quantum physics is a fun subject for science geeks (or if you're really, really drunk), but if you try to apply it to the querying process you're going to drive yourself bonkers.

That's not to say don't resend a query if you reasonably believe your query has been misdirected. Goddess knows, several of mine have been deposited in spam filters even though I followed the agent's website to the letter.

But stop opening the box praying that any old cat's alive. You want the right cat to come out of your box.

Business Plan Part 8 - Necessary Non-Book Writing

Currently reading - Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon

You've written and edited the world's Great American Novel. All you have to do is submit your opus to an agent and editor, rake in the bucks, and you're done, right?

In today's publishing world, the answer is no.

There's one self-defeating behavior I see over and over again in newbies. It starts with "I can't write a query" and continues with "synopsis, back cover blurb, or two-sentence pitch."

Here's the deal--you know your novel, your baby, your product better than anyone. You're the best person to sell, ur, describe your book to a potential consumer. And that's what an agent or editor is--a potential consumer.

Yes, writing a query or a synopsis takes a different skill set than writing a novel. But they are skills that can be learned! Just like you learned to write and edit your novel.

Martina over at Adventures in Children's Publishing wrote far more eloquently about the necessity of learning how to write a terrific query letter. I suggest you check her out.

The last thing I would add is that all writing skills can be learned. Over the years, I've written technical manuals and software project proposals, legal motions and client letters. I've had to learn how to do all these things, just like I've learned how to write queries and back cover blurbs. Don't kill your dreams by refusing to expand your horizons.

Try It! You'll Like It!

Currently reading - Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris
(Yes, I'm reading very slowly on purpose. It's still a few weeks before True Blood - Season 2 comes out on DVD.)

Rick Daley asked me to give another shout out for his Query Me This Challenge at The Public Query Slushpile. All you have to do is craft a query letter and the first five pages based on the story parameters he's given in any genre your little heart desires. Or you can just send him the query.

The point of this exercise is (a) to see if great query letters actually have a great novel to back them up and (b) to show how different writers can run in different directions with the same idea.

So far only two people besides Rick and me have answered the call.

So my precious little lurkers (yes, I know you're out there), practice your query writing skills and send them over to Rick. He'll probably let you be anonymous if you're concerned. You won't regret it!

The Frankenstein Challenge at PQS

Currently reading - Amazon Queen by Lori Devoti

Here's an interesting challenge if you think other writers will steal your ideas. Rick Daley has a contest over at The Public Query Slushpile with real-live No Prizes stolen from the Marvel Comics vaults!

Seriously though, he's got a nice little exercise/experiment on creativity. Rick has posted a story outline. You just have to write a query letter and the first five pages of a novel based on the outline and e-mail them to Rick by 10PM EDT on May 28, 2010. He'll post each entry on the 31st, then launch a public discussion about the entries on June 4th.

Personally, I think Rick's experiment will show that it's not the idea itself, it's the execution that attracts the agents, editors and readers.

Common Query Problems

Currently reading - Flesh Circus by Lilith Saintcrow

Occasionally, I pop over to Rick Daley's The Public Query Slushpile.

I've been seeing two really big problems in queries lately:

1) Way, WAY too long. A query should fit on a single 8 X 11 1/2 page. With the other info you need, like your book title, writing credits, etc., that leaves 250, possibly 300, words to explain your manuscript. That's it. Rick left some wonderful advice to a recent submitter - Start with one sentence that describes your work and build from there.

2) No specificity. "This is a coming of age story about a young boy who discovers his magical destiny." What does that sound like? Harry Potter, maybe? It could also be The Once and Future King, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Perseus, Bellerophon or any other f***ing Greek myth. BE SPECIFIC! "After his super explosive toots accientally destroy his elementary school, GK is drafted by the President to become America's unstoppable weapon, FART BOY."* See the difference?

Now get back to drafting those superb queries!

*This is what I come up with after limited sleep. Don't try this at home.

Stalling Activities

Every writer has her stalling activities for avoiding a task she doesn't want to deal with. I've found a new one--sending out queries.

*shakes head*

This is a new one for me. As I said in my last post, I'd planned on starting the edits to AV&T this week. I literally have not looked at the ms since I finished the first draft. I'm a little afraid to. I was tickled with the first version, coming with what I thought were clever little bits. Now I fear my cleverness is, well, pretty fucking lame. I don't really know though because I'M SCARED TO OPEN THE FREAKING FILE.

So what did I do? I sent out the next set of queries for ZL.

*shakes head again*

Normally, I have the opposite problem. Jump into the edits to avoid the queries.

So what am I going to now? Um, I think I hear some chocolate calling my name. . .

The Basics of a Query Letter

Sometimes writers overthink their queries. I know I've been guilty of doing it. Yes, you want the right tone, but start with the facts and build from there.

I strongly suggest starting with the journalististic who, what, where, when and why. Here's an example from an actually query letter that garnered requests.

"Only something seriously nasty would drag Dr. Bebe Zachary (Who) home to San Francisco (Where). If her grandmother’s accidental overdose weren’t bad enough, her cousins have filed to overturn Grandma Petrov’s will and lost the coven’s Book of Shadows in the process (Why). The only way to get the politically incriminating Book back is to buy the wardrobe it’s hidden in at the estate auction (Why). Except she’s outbid by the only thing more infuriating than her idiotic cousins--a vampire (What). And not just any vampire, but the coven master of the western United States, Caesar Augustine (Who)."

Notice the only question I don't answer is when. That queston is answered through circumstantial evidence by stating the U.S. exists and Bebe is a doctor. Without additional information, most people will assume the manuscript is contemporary, which it is.

If you need other opinions on your query, Rick Daley's The Public Query Slushpile is a marvelous place to get feedback from peers in a safe environment.

The Agony of Rejection, The Ecstasy of a Request

Currently Reading - Kitty and the Silver Bullet by Carrie Vaughn

You know you've got something in your manuscript and/or your query when the responses from agents and editors (and crit partners and beta readers) is an equal mix of "Holy shit! I've got to read this!" and "WTF were you thinking when you wrote this?"

(Okay, I'm paraphrasing a teensy bit. Every agent and editor I've dealt with has been superbly professional.)

I've found over the *ahem* time I've been writing there's a graduated system to responses when querying your baby.

1) You're insane and I'm blocking your e-mail
2) Please go back to school.
3) Join a writer's organization
4) Get a clue about POV/pacing/plotting, etc.
5) It's nice but meh
6) Holy Shit/WTF
7) I love it but the buying committee said no
8) Please sign here

Heck, I'm pleased just to reach Stage 6. Now, if I can skip Stage 7 and hit Stage 8. . .

Back in the Saddle, Part 2

Currently Reading - Kitty and the Silver Bullet by Carrie Vaughn

New queries go out this week, one per day. The first went out last night.

Today I wrote 1000 words, trying to complete the first draft of ZW. Depending on if the manscript takes a weird turn during the climax, I have about 8-9,000 words to go.

As a reward, I just savored a Lindor Dark Chocolate Raspberry truffle. Ahhh, I love the taste of accomplishments.

No matter how small.

P.S. Target carries Lindor truffles - $3.29 per bag (tax may be applicable in your area).

Entitlement?

As I read other blogs, I'm amazed at the vitriolic spewing of some of my fellow unpubs regarding the query process. I consider writing novels a career change (it'll be my third), and I'm looking at the query process as my job search.

But seriously? If you're trying to get a job at AT&T, would you send a nasty e-mail to the HR Director, telling him/her how much their hiring process sucks, their company sucks, etc., ad nauseum?

I can understand the frustration of the process, but it's no different than any other job search I've been on. The rejections aren't personal. Well, okay, I've had a couple a contest judges make comments that were pretty damn personal, but they're the exception rather than the rule. In those cases, the judges are right up there with the IT Director who spent the entire interview staring at my boobs. Boorish behavior for sure, and not someone I'd want to work with. But does it have a damn thing to do with my job performance? Heck, no!

But face reality--this crap is just part of the game. Why get frustrated to point that Mike Tyson looks like a well-behaved Catholic schoolboy compared to some writers? If a writer can't handle the game, leave the stadium.

(Please leave the stadium! Better yet, get yourself ejected for personal fouling. I want off the bench.)

You think I'm some kind of suck-up? I've been on the other end of the spectrum. I've had people want free computer or legal advice, especially the latter. Coming up to a total stranger and making demands is incredibly offputting and isn't likely to get you what you want. So I understand why agents, editors and published authors are leery of unpubs and their demands. I haven't reached the level of public rants like screenwriter Josh Olson on his Why I will not read your f***ing script. But I've thought it. Oh Goddess, have I thought it.

So what's the gist of all this? No one owes you a job. Period. End of story. And if you really want to be published, realize writing is a job. It's an artsy job, but it's still a job.

Pay your dues. Work hard. Keep writing. It's the only way to make it in this business.

Releasing children upon an unsuspecting world...

I've spent the last few days sending out queries for my completed manuscript. And you know what? I like sending queries. For an unpubbed writer, it's the frosting on the literary accomplishment.

What's so great about queries? They force you to condense your idea into a few key sentences. Sentences that need to grab the agent and editor by the throat and say, "Damn it! Pay attention to me!"

On the other hand, synopses are a little tougher. It's a fine line between adding too much information that the synopsis bogs down and too little that the synopsis makes no freakin' sense. And that is why critique partners are so damn important! Good ones will tell you when you've crossed the line. But once it's done, I don't have to agonize over every single word the way I do with the personalized query.

But it's done. My children are out in the world, but I can't sit and stew about what will happen to them. Will they be liked? Admired? Told to put a paper bag over their heads? Nope, can't worry about them now. What's done is done.

The current wip is clamoring for attention, like a toddler demanding to be picked up and carried. And I'm already pregnant with the next idea.