Sales Copy Is My Trigger

I'm taking a class on writing fiction sales copy. I'm well aware it's a weakness of mine, so I'm trying to improve that skill. I've come to realize parts of my psychological problems with drafting sales copy are from personal, cultural, and social implications.

As I was growing up, I was told that I was supposed to do my best. However, I was often punished and/or derided for doing so. The mixed messages resulted in a almost pathological fear of bring attention to myself. To the point, I was often throwing up in the ladies' room prior to any court hearing. I'm not talking about major trials. It happened with minor situations, often when I was going before a new-to-me judge.

Toss in the teachers who make weird comments to my parents if--heaven forbid!--I turned my homework in early. It didn't help that these same teachers were my mother's colleagues. She'd get an earful, then come home and accuse me of embarrassing her in front of her co-workers.

Then there's the whole social structure of how women are not supposed to do better than men. Do not even get me started about that one. As a woman, you're shamed if you do better and belittled if you do worse.

I've stopped telling people what I like or don't like because that has now become a personal insult plus a huge argument if you don't adore the same things as everyone else. I've learned to say I haven't read/watched/played yet whatever thing is under discussion.

I don't tell people I've just met I'm a writer anymore for a lot of the same reasons. I tell them I work at a publishing company. Which is true. But it isn't the whole truth.

But now, I really need to up my game on sales copy, and I find myself struggling with this class. It means boasting about my writing in a way that triggers the little kid who got slammed for getting A's and for embarrassing her parents.

Last month, Genius Kid asked me point blank if we'd ever had him tested for ADHD or autism. We hadn't, and I asked him why he had that question. GK said he'd read an article about both conditions and how there were some psychological similarities. Then he added, "It would explain a lot about our personalities, Mom."

Now, part of me is wondering if I've failed my son. And once again, I wonder if there's something wrong with me.

Or is our society so broken we can't deal with a person who isn't in lockstep with those of a certain neurotype?

Which brings my back to sales copy. Because the whole purpose of it is to attract those with like minds who would enjoy consuming whatever it is that I am producing. Are there truly any people out there like me? And if there are, is the very skill I'm trying to master driving them away like the same language would drive me away?

These are the thoughts and questions that swirl through my mind.